


Unholy

by Alien_Writes



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Chaste Kakashi, Confessional Sex, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Moral Dilemmas, Oral Sex, Priest Kink, Religion, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Addiction, Slow Burn, Triggers, Virginity, probably sacreligious, sacreligious sex, seriously don't read if anything like this offends you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-06-07 08:41:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15215345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alien_Writes/pseuds/Alien_Writes
Summary: ***“That’s easy for you to say. You’re a priest,” Sakura said.Kakashi couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m immune to sin. I’m human and God knows that. I will always be forgiven.” He lifted a cautious hand to her shoulder, reassuring her doubts with a gentle touch. “And you will too if you ask Him.”“I shouldn’t have to apologize for being human.” She lifted her eyes to his, the jade irises swirling with something dark that surprised him. “And neither should you.”***





	1. Covet

* * *

 

AN- Whelp, hey guys. I wasn't planning to post this on ao3 since I have so many other unfinished works...It was a tumblr exclusive but I've had several people ask me to post on here for easier reading. So, here I am.

I think I should clarify that this work will be more explicit and probably my ticket to hell. But, I don't really care. Priest Kakashi is just too hot of a concept to pass up. Anyway, if religious imagery combined with sexual situations offends you or triggers you in ANY way, please click out and don't read this. Because this will be heavy with it. Any questions you have, feel free to message me on tumblr! If anyone doesn't know, my blog is alienwritesKS.tumblr.com :)

* * *

 

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 1: Covet****

****

* * *

 

The first time he saw her was on a Thursday. Her pink hair was bright beneath the midday sun, pulled back into a ponytail that slid over her shoulder as she turned to greet an elderly woman with a soft smile. And as she handed her a dose of medications to help the poor woman with whatever ailments she was suffering from, her eyes lifted and met his. It was only a few seconds but felt like much longer.

Kakashi blinked, caught in the depths of her jade gaze. He was dangerously close to dropping his gaze to the rest of her body but managed to tear his eyes away before he could give in to temptation. Knowing it was best to separate himself from it, he decided to go back inside the parish and let the team of nurses do their job.

The church had organized a clinic to help those of the community that could not afford medical care. He had been surprised by how quickly the local hospital had responded, eager to help the cause. They had sent over a team of volunteer nurses and a tent to set up on the lawn outside the church. And she had been the head of the team. For the hour that they had set up, Kakashi couldn’t help watching them, but more specifically, _her._

He could tell she was in charge from the moment she arrived, instructing the other nurses where to go and how to help the enormous crowd that had shown up. It was a pleasant surprise, though it was difficult to see so many people in need.

At lunch, Sisters Of The Leaf had brought the nurses a sack lunch and set up a table to serve those still in line for medicine. It was during this time that the girl who Kakashi couldn’t seem to stop glancing over to, came over to sit on the front steps. He had been standing in the vestibule, the front doors open wide to let in the sun, saying goodbye to one of the parishioners when he noticed her on the steps. She had her sandwich on her lap, though it didn’t look like she had even taken a bite of it.

He watched her smile up to the woman leaving, shaking the stray hair out of her face before she caught sight of him lurking in the doorway behind her. She turned and blinked in surprise, laughing breathlessly. “You scared me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He took a step into the light and glanced out at the tent where she had been working all morning. The line of people had lessened but, by the looks of it, they would be here for a while.  

_Good_ , a voice in the back of his mind said, making him frown and push it away. “We’ve had a bigger turn out that I expected.”

The girl sighed and looked toward the crowd, nodding solemnly. “Yeah,” she said, dusting the breadcrumbs from her fingers. “It’s sad that there’s so many people in need. I didn’t think it would be anything like this.”

“There will always be people in need. I’m thankful that there are people like you who care enough to help.” He didn’t know why he said it, or why he had singled out _her_ alone when he should have been thankful for the hospital for agreeing. But, the words were out of his mouth and she turned to look back up at him from the steps.

“Well,” she said, smiling though he could see a blush across her cheeks. “I’m happy to help. Are you the priest?”

“I am,” Kakashi said with a nod and a soft smile.

The girl sighed and stuffed her uneaten sandwich back into the bag before standing to her feet. From two steps down, she was just tall enough to reach his waist and realizing this, Kakashi couldn’t help taking a step down. He didn’t want any excuse to imagine her anywhere below his waist. “I haven’t been to service since I was a kid.” He watched her tilt her head back and look up at the building stretching high above them. “I used to love listening to the church bells.”

“You’re welcome back anytime.”

With her head still leaned back, he couldn’t help notice her throat and how it tightened as she swallowed. She lowered her gaze to him and nodded, holding her hand out for him to shake. Before he could tell himself that touching her probably wasn’t the best idea, especially with how his body was already responding to being near her, his hand closed around hers. “I’m Sakura. The sisters told me you’re Father Hatake?” He nodded, unable to do much else with her palm still pressed against his. “It was nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, as well.”

Their hands separated and she gave him a final smile before turning to return to the tent. As she crossed the lawn, Sakura turned and smiled at him from over her shoulder, her pink ponytail swinging with each step. He swallowed tightly.

 

* * *

 

AN- I figure I should also explain, these chapters will be shorter than usual. Well, up until I get to the *good* stuff anyway.

 


	2. Heresy

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 2: Heresy****

****

* * *

 

Sunday, Kakashi was delighted to see that the congregation had grown from the last service. The pews were still mostly empty but, he would take the slight increase with thanks. A few of the newcomers had returned from the pop-up clinic they had arranged through the week but most of them were the same older women, clutching their rosaries as they listened to his words. Unfortunately, among the newcomers, there was no pink haired woman.

He had put her out of his mind after the nurses had packed up and left the church, knowing it was for the best that she not come back. Though, that was a poor mindset for a priest to have. If he was stronger willed, he would have been able to invite her for service and never thought twice about it. But, as it were, he was rather weak and always in need of guidance from the Lord to overcome his temptations.

Kakashi finished his service with a blessing to the congregation, asking them to spread the word to others. One of the Sisters of the Leaf played a hymn on the organ as he made his way toward the front doors. The parishioners filed out of the church one by one, pausing to say their goodbyes to him and ask him for blessings. As the last of them clutched his hand and thanked him for the service, a flash of color caught his eye.

He turned toward the parking lot and his eyebrows raised on his forehead at the figure standing next to a red car. With the wind whipping her pink hair around her face, Sakura stood staring up at him with a small smile. She took a step and Kakashi felt his heart rate elevate as she moved closer. He closed his eyes for a brief moment to gather himself, saying a quick prayer to ensure his strength.

“Father Hatake,” she said, shaking the hair from her face.. A strand of pink caught in the corner of her mouth, sticking to the thin layer of lip gloss she had on and Kakashi’s eyes flickered down to it. “I’m sorry I missed the service today. I was stuck at work until just a few minutes ago.” She gestured down at her scrubs which Kakashi only noticed out of the corner of his eye. He wouldn’t allow himself to look down at her body.

“That’s alright,” he said with a smile. “You can always come next Sunday.”

Sakura held her hair away from her face, the strand slipping free from her lips, and nodded, glancing into the parish through the open doors. “Do you mind if I…” she trailed off, pointing toward the open doors. He took a step back and let her pass, watching her with curiosity as she stepped inside the vestibule.

The lit candles displayed on the table flickered light across her as she passed, casting a dark halo around her head. She took slow, cautious steps as if she were afraid of actually going inside. Kakashi followed behind her, keeping his distance as much as his body would allow him. He forced himself to stop just inside the entrance of the naive, watching her. She let her fingers drag across the tops of the pews, lifted her face toward the sanctuary and the stained glass windows behind it. The bright sun streaming in through the colored glass plates covered her in a rainbow of light that made his breath still in his lungs.

He hadn’t realized that he was still making his way closer to her until she spoke, glancing up at him from the corner of her eye. “I feel strange being here,” she said quietly.

“Why is that?” He turned to gaze up at the altar where depictions of scripture were painted onto the walls.. In the center on an enormous cross, the face of the messiah stared down directly at Kakashi, twisted in pain as if He knew something they didn’t.

“I feel like I’m too lost, too corrupt to be saved.” Her words were softly spoken, her eyes fixed on the crucifix above them on the altar.

“No one is ever too lost. God loves you no matter what sins you’ve committed.”

She scoffed and turned her face away from the cross, looking up at him with a slender, pink eyebrow raised up her forehead. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re a priest.”

He couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m immune to sin. I’m human and God knows that. I will always be forgiven.” He lifted a cautious hand to her shoulder, reassuring her doubts with a gentle touch. “And you will too if you ask Him.”

“I shouldn’t have to apologize for being human.” She lifted her eyes to his, the jade irises swirling with something dark that surprised him. “And neither should you.” With that, she turned away from him and marched out of the church. Kakashi’s hand dropped to his side, his palm tingling from where he had touched her, as if just the brief contact had burned him.

This time, as she walked away from him, she didn’t turn to smile from over her shoulder. She fled from the building, not stopping until she was in her car, driving away.

* * *

 


	3. Scandal

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 3: Scandal****

****

* * *

 

 

Night shift.

****  
  


It was always a bitch but tonight was  _ worse  _ somehow. Sakura has been assigned the critical unit for the third night in a row, further confirming her assumption that someone up above had it in for her. Pair that with an extremely rainy night and she knew she would have her work cut out for her. 

For just a brief minute, she leaned over the circular counter at the nurse’s station to take a rest. The smell of stale coffee still sitting on the blackened burner behind the desk made her stomach clench. She yawned into the crook of her elbow and smoothed the fly away hair back over her head. As she stood back up after her brief rest that did little to help her fatigue, a team of nurses wheeled a patient in from the emergency department. 

The woman was wailing in agony, her wet hair plastered to her face as she gripped the metal railing on either side of her. Below her, her leg was mangled. Bone and bits of darkened flesh poked out from behind the splint holding her knee together. “Another car crash.” One of the medics said, slapping the woman’s chart against Sakura’s arm. “Husband was pronounced dead on the scene. Child was in the backseat and is being treated for a broken clavicle, nothing serious.” 

Sakura stared at the unperturbed medic who spoke as if he were reading off a script. In all of her years as a nurse, she still couldn’t see how people lost their empathy toward the patients. A man died, a woman lost her husband and very well may lose her leg, and the guy acted as if it was all an inconvenience to his busy night. Without another word, he turned back toward the doors to the emergency department and disappeared behind them. 

She rolled her eyes and hurried into the woman’s room, pulling the curtain back to make room for the team of nurses. One look at the leg and Sakura knew there’d be no saving it. She touched the woman’s heel and tapped, lifting her eyes to her pale, ashen face. “Can you feel that?”

“No,” she choked, mouth spread in a pained grimace. “I can’t feel my legs at all.” 

_ Fuck,  _ Sakura thought, ripping her stethoscope from around her neck so she could lean closer to her. With her first finger and thumb, she pinched the woman’s thigh and waited for an answer. “No, God. I can’t feel it. Am-am I paralyzed? God, please, this can’t be happening.” 

“She needs to be prepped for surgery. I’ll call down to the surgical unit and see if they can fit her in ASAP.” Sakura left the room, pursing her lips to keep them from trembling as she hurried to the phones behind the desk. From behind her eyes, a dull pain began to throb.

The rest of the night continued on in the same way. As soon as she got a moment to sit at the computer to work on her charts, another patient was wheeled in. Three car wrecks, a domestic assault turned attempted murder and countless drunken morons passed in and out of the traumas unit. In the hour before dawn, Sakura had found a relatively calm moment to type up her progress notes at the computer. The bright screen did little to help the pain pulsating across her skull in time with her heartbeat. 

“For fuck’s sake, Forehead,” Ino Yamanaka said, reaching across the desk to pull Sakura’s face toward hers. She wrenched her chin out of her grasp and scowled. “You look like death warmed over. When’s the last time you actually slept?”

“Yesterday. When’s the last time you managed to mind your own damn business?”

Ino chuckled, unfazed by her friend’s bitter retort. She dropped a stack of charts on the rolling cart and reached for the coffee pot behind the desk. A moment later, a styrofoam cup filled the the black sludge was set beside the keyboard. “Drink before you keel over, or rip someone’s head off.” 

She didn’t want to, but did as Ino instructed anyway. For absolute shit coffee, it did manage to make her feel slightly better. The pounding in her head was only a full throb after she downed half the cup. Ino and the other nurses has gathered on the other side of the circular desk and usually, their chatter didn’t even reach through to her. But, one of them said something that caught her attention instantly. 

“Damn, I’d be more willing to go to church if  _ he  _ was my priest.” 

“He  _ could _ be your priest, dumb-dumb.” Ino smacked an older woman on the arm. “Just go to his church.” 

Sakura was out of the rolling chair before she could even think, crossing around the curved desk to peek around the small group of women. Honestly, did they not have actual work to do? Although she wanted to scold them and send them back to their duties, her curiosity was too strong to turn back now. It brought her around Ino’s side, following their gaze down the long hall to three figures standing outside a patient’s room. 

An elderly man had slipped and fallen on his back porch earlier that evening from the rain, cracking his skull open in two places. He had laid there for half an hour, bleeding into his brain before his wife had found him unresponsive. The doctors hadn’t been too hopeful for his survival. And now, Father Hatake has been called. 

From the distance of the hallway, Sakura let herself watch him without him knowing. He was wearing his same dark robes, waist cinched with a thick, black cloth that nearly dragged the ground. Around his neck was a rosary and clutched between his elbow and side was a worn, black Bible. He towered over the elderly wife and what Sakura guessed would be the daughter, reaching out to gently touch her shoulder. It reminded her of the same gesture he has given her last week and just like then, her skin burned and heat rose to her cheeks. 

“That’s Father Hatake,” Sakura whispered, making the girl beside her start, slapping a hand to her chest. 

“Fucking hell, you scared me.” 

“You know him?” An older nurse named Tomoko asked, raising an eyebrow, suddenly interested in what Sakura has to say. The woman was quite a bitch and wasn’t afraid to make everyone aware that younger nurses shouldn’t be promoted over the ones who had been there years. Meaning, Sakura didn’t deserve the title of lead nurse that she had been given -  _ no,  _ worked for - last month. 

“Yeah,” she murmured, glancing to the group of women now waiting for juicy gossip. “He’s my priest.”

“ _ Your _ priest?” Ino asked, blue eyes going wide. “Since when do you go to church?” 

Sakura scowled, not sure why she had referred to him as  _ her  _ priest. She had only spoken to him twice in her life and both of those times she had felt  _ so  _ guilty just speaking to him. And the way he looked at her, as if he were almost nervous around her? It was like God was whispering in his ear, telling him all the horrible things she had done. “I don’t. He’s not  _ my  _ priest. Just the one who oversees the community clinic I volunteered for.”

Ino nodded and broke away from the group to answer a telephone call. 

“A man of God  _ and  _ a heart of gold?” Tomoko said, letting her gaze rake down Father Hatake’s body as if he were a piece of meat and she were a starving dog. “I’d love to see what he’s got hidden up those robes.”

The women howled with laughter, not a single one of them giving a damn about the family grieving over their loved one at the end of the hallway. The mother and daughter lifted their heads toward the group and Sakura’s stomach clenched in horror as Father Hatake did the same. He looked over at her, lips pursed as if he were disappointed. God, did he think she was that callous? She wanted to reprimand them, tell them all they’re going to hell for being so cruely negligent of other people’s pain but she couldn’t. All she could do was watch the man turn away from her and disappear into the room. 

The whole thing left a bad taste in her mouth, like stale coffee and contrition. Even as she sat back down at the computer to finish her notes, she couldn’t get the look in his eyes out of her head. Why was it bothering her so much? She had seen the look before, had grown used to it all of her life from her parents and loved ones...It had never bothered her like this.

Everytime she blinked, it would flash through her memory, burned in her mind. After half an hour of struggling through a paragraph of notes, Sakura gave up and stood to her feet, sending the rolling chair sliding across the floor. She grabbed her zip-up hoodie and slipped her arms through it, heading in the last direction she wanted to go. But, her guilt was eating her from the inside out and she couldn’t take it anymore. 

The door to the patient’s room was cracked and in the slit, she could see that the light above the bed was on. The voices inside were hushed, broken up by a sniffle every few seconds. Sakura stopped a few yards down from the room where the elevators stood, leaning against the wall as she waited. She let her head fall back against the painted concrete walls, the cool brick helping soothe the headache that refused to leave. 

Folding her arms over her chest, she closed her eyes and drifted deep into her thoughts. She was still furious at what Tomoko had said and the strange  _ need _ to jump to his defense was still boiling just beneath her skin. She was sure it had more to do with the woman’s constant confrontations with Sakura but there was something else there, something she couldn’t explain. It was the same feeling she had felt standing next to him before the pulpit of his parish, listening to him recite the same rhetoric she had heard a thousand times.  _ God forgives all who sin _ . 

“Sakura?” The voice was quiet but it snapped her quickly out of her thoughts, eyes opening to a familiar face. She glanced up to the line of silver hair hanging across his forehead, unsure why she was dying to reach up and brush it back. Realizing she must have looked like a psycho, she stepped away from the wall and cleared her throat.

“Sorry, I was just…” She took a deep breath, ducking her head to gaze down at their feet standing only the length of a floor tile apart. The tips of his black shoes poked out from beneath his robes, a stark contrast from her white sneakers. Swallowing, she lifted her head and met his eyes. “I wanted to apologize.” 

Oh, God...she hadn’t been prepared for the look he had given her. A flash of anger as he recalled the howling laughter from the nurses, immediately cooled with a long sigh. “You shouldn’t apologize for their behavior. You weren’t the one being disruptive.”

“No, but as lead nurse, I shouldn’t have let it happen. Also, I’m sorry for last week.” She sighed, wincing from the pain in her head. His eyebrows lifted and she continued before he could say anything. “I’m not used to being in church, or around anyone involved with it and being there again, it just...It got to me. I didn’t mean to take my frustration out on you.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me, Sakura. My purpose is to listen and guide you to God, no matter what you may say. My door is always open if you need to talk.”

_ Your bedroom door? _ She thought, immediately shoving the annoying voice to the back of her mind where she would bury it. Biting her lip, she nodded, relieved he wasn’t upset with her for either instance. With a soft smile, he reached toward her and she froze, her entire body tensing up. Once she realized he was reaching for the elevator button behind her back, her face flushed. Had she really thought he was reaching for  _ her _ ? No, of course, he wouldn’t...but she had wanted him to. 

“You’re always welcome to join us for service,” Father Hatake said, stepping around her to enter the elevator car. She turned to face him and smiled, knowing full and well she would  _ not _ be joining him. 

“Maybe.”

The grin that spread across his face had her stomach fluttering with butterflies. He pressed a button on the inside panel. “I’ve heard enough maybes to know you won’t.” His smile faded, leaving something unreadable in his eyes. “But, I hope you do.” 

His gaze stayed fixed on hers until the doors slid shut between them, breaking the trance he had put her under. Sakura blinked several times, unsure if she was dizzy from her headache, or the look he had just left her with. Surely, he had meant he hopes for her sake that she come to service. There was no way he meant it in the way she  _ wanted _ him to mean it. 

* * *

 


	4. Lust

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 4: Lust****

****

* * *

 

Sakura sighed, completely fed up with herself. She stomped away from the floor length mirror hanging on the back of her bedroom mirror, wrenching the dress off of her body in one swoop of crimson material. Over the last twenty minutes, she had tried on nearly every outfit combination in her closet, hating every single one of them. Picking out something to wear to Sunday service _shouldn’t_ be this hard.

Then again, she didn’t even know why she cared. Wait, scratch that. Yes, she did. She just couldn’t believe she actually _did_ care.

Even at the height of her religious upbringing, she hadn’t put this much thought into church service. Then again, it was easy being carefree when her priest had been a 75 year old hunchbacked man who walked with a cane. Even if she _had_ cared about what she wore, she doubted his cataracts would have allowed him to take notice.

But, now, it was Father Hatake and he was young, good looking, and sweet. She didn’t know why but that combination of things caused a stir of feelings she had thought were buried deep down to come bubbling up to the surface. She stared down at the dress clenched tightly in her fists, the blood red fabric wrinkling around her fingers. What was she doing?

Was she seriously picking something out that would help her _seduce_ him? God, she was a worse person than she had previously thought.

Disgusted with herself, she threw the dress into her closet floor and collapsed onto her bed, deciding to skip the church service for the second Sunday in a row.

* * *

 

 

Thankfully, the next time she got to see Father Hatake, she didn’t have much say in what she wore. Scrubs were probably the least sexiest outfit anyone could wear and she felt safe in them. And though she had chose the red top and matching pants that fit a bit too snugly for her comfort, she didn’t feel like that was because she wanted him to see her in them. They were just the first pair that she pulled from the drawer.

At least, that’s what she was telling herself, anyway.

The clinic she had volunteered for had been a success and the hospital asked her to oversee it a couple more times to assist the community until they could afford to rotate another team. Sakura didn’t like the thought of giving this gig up to another nurse but decided not to mention _why_ that was. Again, she was telling herself it wasn’t because of _him_.

But, even through the morning hours, as she met with an array of people from all walks of life, she couldn’t help glancing to the parish windows on the off chance that she would catch him walking past them. So far, she hadn’t seen a single glimpse of that silver hair.

Frowning, she gathered an armful of antibacterial wipes, bandages, and pain relievers before kneeling to treat an older woman’s injury to her ankle. The deep gash cut into her leg looked pretty bad and Sakura knew nothing they could do would help this woman. The wound would need antibiotics for the infection and debridement of the damaged tissue. She lifted her head to the woman and glanced at the other nurses standing several feet away from her. “Do you have insurance?”

The woman shook her head, wincing as Sakura cleaned the infection oozing out of the wound. Shit. She knew she could be fired and lose her license for this but if it got any worse, the woman could lose her lower leg. “Wait here.”

She moved back to the tent where the tables were set up with their supplies. Below it, sitting on the ground was a small, lunch bag she had managed to hide between her purse and the curb. Inside, she had stashed some meds that she swiped from the supply closet. Most of it was simple antibiotics, but that was mostly what this crowd needed. And, wiping their injuries clean wouldn’t do them a lot of good.

Making sure no one had seen her, Sakura rose to her feet and made her way back to the woman, keeping the bottle of pills pinned against her side. She kneeled back in front of her and slipped the bottle into her hands. “Take two a day for ten days. Come back here if it’s not healed.” With a finger to her lips, Sakura stood to her feet. The woman nodded, saying something in her native language that she could only guess were thank you’s and blessings.

As she wheeled herself away from the tent, Sakura pushed her hands into the pockets of her top and watched her go.

“I hope you won’t get in trouble for that.”

Sakura whirled around, hand clutching her chest as she blinked up at the man she had been hoping to see all morning. He wasn’t looking at her though, his gaze still on the elderly woman in the wheelchair, pushing herself toward the sidewalk. So, apparently, she had been caught. But, at least it wasn’t by any of the other nurses. She raked a hand through her hair and stepped around him so that he was between her and the table beneath the tent. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

Father Hatake looked down at her, eyes narrowed slightly as if he were trying to decide if she was flirting with him or not. She didn’t know that answer either. Surely, she wasn’t _that_ stupid. But, instead of chastising her for being a wicked, cruel person, the corner of his lips lifted into a smile that stirred quite sinful things out from the dark corners of her mind. “My lips are sealed.”

_Seal them around me, Father,_ she couldn’t help thinking. Why was she thinking things like this? He was not interested in her in the slightest, he was completely unobtainable, and not to mention a goddam _priest_. He was off limits in the highest ways imaginable. Did she only want him because she couldn’t have him? If that’s what she was attracted to, it painted a pretty awful picture of her.

He seemed to notice how tense she suddenly became, unaware that she was struggling internally with how horrible of a person she truly was. “Are you alright?”

“Mm, yep,” she managed to croak, her throat tightening around her words. “I’m just tired.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I suspect you’ve been working long hours at the hospital?” He seemed genuinely concerned, making Sakura feel even worse for the things she had running through her mind. When she could only nod, he continued. “And I suppose that’s why you missed service this past Sunday?”

The cheeky grin and wrinkle at the corner of his eyes had Sakura wishing she could sit down. Her knees wanted to wobble out from under her and she forced herself not to melt to the pavement beneath them. Okay, maybe it wasn’t just because he was off limits. Maybe she actually was attracted to him. God, she wasn’t sure what was worse.

“I…” She bit the inside of her lip, debating on telling him that she didn’t have an outfit revealing enough to wear. “I didn’t have anything _nice_ to wear.”

He laughed, the sound sweet and warm. “We don’t have a dress code. Honestly, most parishioners just wear their everyday clothes.” He stared at her and Sakura has the feeling he wanted to say something more, but was holding back. It made the devious side of her rear its ugly head.

“Well, I’ll try to remember that the next time I’m in my underwear with half my closet strewn around the room.” She had been joking, for the most part, but the look in his eyes shifted and told her that she had most definitely crossed a line. His shoulders stiffened as he cleared his throat and Sakura mentally kicked herself for being so stupid. Had she really tried to flirt with a priest? She wanted to assure him that she was only kidding and hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable but he didn’t give her a chance.

“I need to assist the sisters with serving lunch. Excuse me.” He stepped away from her, heading back toward the steps in front of the enormous parish. She wanted to reach out and stop him from leaving, beg him to forgive her for being so stupid.

She didn’t.

An hour passed before lunch, the entire time Sakura had trouble concentrating on her work. It was such an easy job, she was almost bored. Smile, grab a handful of basic first aid supplies, hand them out and move onto the next person in line. But, as she went through the motions, her mind, which usually was focused on the task at hand, hadn’t stopped racing from the moment those stupid words had left her mouth.

Each time it played over in her head, she cringed. The last thing she wanted was to make Father Hatake uncomfortable, and that was exactly what he had been as he stared at her in slight horror at her words. He must have thought she was a lowdown, dirty woman to stoop as low as to try to _flirt_ with a priest.

How many times did she had to remind herself that he was _off limits_? It was like those words didn’t even register in her head. Just something to scoff at and step over on her way to hell.

“Are you hungry?” A familiar voice said beside her, startling her out of her thoughts for the second time that day. She whipped her head to the side to see the man who had been occupying too much of her thoughts lately holding a brown bag lunch out for her. He smiled sweetly, making her chest fill with warmth and she dusted her hands off on the back of her scrubs.

“I am, actually. Thank you,” she took the bag and noticed how dusty her hands had become from digging in supply boxes all morning. She frowned. “Do you mind if I use your restroom to wash my hands?”

“Not at all,” Father Hatake said, holding his hand out she could walk in front of him. “I’ll show you the way.”

The tiny bathroom was right inside the front doors and she squeezed herself between the wall and sink before dipping her hands beneath the faucet. It was barely a closet, with the toilet wedged right beside the sink, obviously added on at a later date to accommodate for a crowded congregation.

Sakura turned the faucet off and grabbed a few paper towels from the rack, glancing up at the mirror above the sink. Her hair had started to curl in the heat of the day, poking out from her ponytail in all sorts of wild angles. She regretted not running a straightener over the ends before throwing it up on top of her head. She smoothed the flyaways down as best as she could before she slipped back out the door.

Standing at the top of the stairs where she had left him, her brown bag lunch still in his hands, Father Hatake faced the parking lot to give her a moment of privacy. He hasn’t noticed her coming out of the bathroom yet and Sakura took a moment to just watch him. The warm breeze that accompanied the thick grey clouds over head blew his hair across his face in silver strands that were just _begging_ to be brushed aside. He looked so calm and at peace, watching the Sisters of the Leaf hand out lunches to the people still waiting in line.

Inside her, Sakura’s heart clenched tightly. She didn’t think she had ever felt peace like that. Her life had always been constant turmoil, both in her own mind and outside. She was glad someone could find calm down this path. All it brought her had been pain and heartache to the point where 6 years later, she was _still_ bitter. Being inside a church again after so much had happened felt wrong and even as she stood facing him, she could feel the painted eyes of all the saints staring into her back.

“Thank you for holding my lunch,” Sakura breathed, tucking a fallen bit of hair behind her ear as Father Hatake turned to face her with a smile. He handed over the bag.

For a moment, neither said a word and Sakura wasn’t sure what to say even if she _could_ form a sentence. Hoping to ignore any awkwardness, she lowered herself onto the steps as she has the first day she had volunteered and was surprised when he joined her. He sighed as he sat, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward.

The sandwich she pulled out of the bag was forgotten for a moment while she stared at him looking out toward the parking lot again. She chewed the inside of her lip and dropped her gaze to the peanut butter sandwich in her lap, cut into triangles. “I’m sorry for what I said. It was inappropriate.”

Father Hatake chuckled and lowered his head to his chest, shaking it so that his hair fell across his eyes. “You don’t have to keep apologizing to me for the things you say or do. I took no offense.”

Thank God.

“Well,” she said, “I offended myself. I shouldn’t have said what I did, to you especially.”

“Why _me especially_?” Sakura looked at him, an eyebrow raised as if to ask him ‘really?’ and he laughed. “You know, I may be a man of God, but I’m perfectly capable of handling a joke. Once I got over the initial surprise of hearing it, I did find it funny.”

“I’m glad to hear you have a sense of humor then.” She took a bite and looked out at the crowd of people still scattered about. Her thoughts raced, dying for her to say them out loud but she refused, choosing to stuff her mouth with peanut butter and bread to keep herself quiet. It was the only way to keep from putting her foot in her mouth. She decided to try something innocent to keep her on the right path. “How long have you been a priest?”

Father Hatake sighed, a long, drawn out breath that took her by surprise. She hadn’t expected him to sound so...weary. He didn’t look at her, keeping his eyes narrowed and staring off at nothing in particular. “A long time now.”

Sakura nodded, though he probably didn’t see her. It was hard to keep her mind from wandering to the dark corners that held all of those sinful questions she shouldn’t be curious about. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him sitting still and quiet, her eyes flickering down to the hands folded in his lap. _A long time now_...had those hands ever felt another person’s touch? Had they ever explored when it was late at night? The thought of him running his long fingers up her thigh, dipping between them to discover what she had waiting for him, had her heart racing.

Sakura bit the inside of her lip, hard enough to snap her out of her thoughts and she shook her head. Father Hatake watched her stand to her feet, rising off the steps as she quickly gathered her half eaten sandwich and paper bag. “I should get back to work. Thank you for keeping me company.”

“My pleasure,” he said, his choice of words making her nearly stumble off the step. She grabbed the railing to steady herself, not looking back at him as she hurried across the parking lot. Maybe next week, she should ask another nurse to take her place. These thoughts she was having would only end up getting her in trouble, if not sent to an eternity of damnation. And after all that she had done in her life, maybe the best idea was to avoid adding anything on to her growing list of sins.

* * *


	5. Wrath

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 5: Wrath****

****

* * *

 

Where was it? She knew it was _somewhere_ in the scattered mess in her bedroom and in the late hours of the night, as she tried to force herself to sleep, she knew it wouldn’t be possible until she found what had been on her mind all afternoon. Well, if she was being honest, it had been on her mind since the last time she had been to the church. As she had been wrapping gauze around a man’s needle-marked arm, it was like a light had went off in her head. Several years ago, when she sought books to help satisfy the urges she had, Sakura had stumbled upon a particular erotic short story involving a woman and her _priest._

At the time, she had enjoyed the story for what it was; a quick, smut-filled, fuck fest with a particularly naughty taboo. But, now...now, she needed it for a whole new reason.

She reached for a crumpled box hiding in the back of her closet, hooking three fingers around the edge before she tugged it out into her lap. It was full of things from her past that she had shoved away. Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. Frowning, she dug past the journals she had kept, the movie tickets and random momentos of all the dates she had gone on with men she couldn’t even remember now. In the bottom of the box was several books, one in particular making her lips curl as she reached for it.

On the front cover was a generic picture of a man and woman, holding one another in a tight embrace while her breasts nearly spilled completely out of her top. And across the picture was the title: Craving The Taboo.

Boy, was she ever.

Kicking the box of forgotten memories back into her closet, Sakura fell back onto her bed and opened the front cover. The spine creaked in protest and the first page fell free from the glue, slipping off the side of her bed. If she believed in signs, she may have taken the dilapidated state of the book to be one but she ignored it and flipped through the yellowing pages. It wasn’t long until she found the one titled The Bound Bishop and her heart skipped a beat. Okay, so he wasn’t a priest but a bishop was close.

Sakura settled in to her pillows, getting comfy enough to read through the short story. She told herself that this was _not_ because of Father Hatake. This was just her morbid curiosity begging for a little taste of _something_ since she was adamant about not giving in to any more temptations. And the fact that her mind was conjuring up images of a familiar silver haired priest as she read? Well, she would just ignore that.

~~~

Sakura was exhausted and irritable as she sat at the nurse’s desk, hunched over a keyboard as her fifth night shift in a row began. Her exhaustion was her own fault, thinking it was a good idea to stay up and read erotic stories about subject matters that she really _shouldn’t_ be turned on by but, she was regretting it now. Especially since Tomoko, the woman who absolutely loathed Sakura, was working the same shift.

If she could survive the night without strangling the woman, she’d call it a success. Tomoko was almost as repressed as Sakura, judging by the way she sexualized any and every male that came through the door. And though it had been weeks since Father Hatake had graced their halls with his presence, no one had shut up about it. After Ino let it slip that he was the one who helped organize the volunteer clinic, every nurse who had glimpsed him so far had been bothering Sakura with questions.

She had hoped she could at least get him off her mind while she was at work but, that was clearly not happening anytime soon. So, she distanced herself and went on her rounds, waking patients to check their vitals. Their annoyance was much more welcome than middle aged women sharing their fantasies about fucking a god damn priest on the pulpit.

But, not even her rounds or the irritable patients could distract her for long. Each time she would turn the lights off and move to the next room, her mind instantly wandered to the passages in that damn book she should have just ignored. The girl running her tongue across her rosary beads to seduce the bishop, him bending her over the back of the pew, pushing himself into her. It was all swirling around her mind, hot and pressing down on her, making her eyes flutter closed. She could see Father Hatake, pushing her down onto her knees in front of him, placing the communion wafer in her mouth and his thumb lingering on the tip of her tongue, his eyes dark and full of the same desire flowing through her—

“Watch it!”

Sakura gasped as she felt one of the rolling carts of supplies tip over and spill to the floor. Papers scattered and a basket of blood pressure cuffs bounced across the tiles and Sakura could only stare with her hands covering her mouth as every nurse at the desk turned to stare at her. Unfortunately, the woman pushing the cart had been the one woman who could make her night a living hell. Tomoko sighed and threw her hands in the air in frustration. “What’s wrong with you? Now all of my charts are going to be mixed up.”

“I’m sorry,” Sakura mumbled, dropping to her knees to help pick up the papers and supplies. “I guess I didn’t see you.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of hard to see with your eyes closed,” The older woman spat, shoving Sakura’s hands out of the way to clean up the mess herself. After several moments, she had gathered up everything that had spilled and straightened the cart, leaving Sakura sitting on the floor. She couldn’t believe she had been so distracted by her imagination.

“Are you alright?” Ino asked, holding her hand out for Sakura to take. She stepped to her feet with a nod, brushing the dust from the floor off of her scrubs. “She’s in a nasty mood tonight.”

Tomoko rejoined her gang of friends at the nurse’s station, all snickering to themselves as they glanced back at Sakura standing there, gaping like a fish. She should have just called out, begged someone to cover her shift and fake being sick. She could have stayed home and touched herself to thoughts of Father Hata—

_NO!_ God, what was wrong with her?

Pressing a hand to her forehead, Sakura made her way back to the desk to the main computer. She just needed to focus on work, document all of the patient’s vitals and prepare for the next set of rounds scheduled in 3 hours. If she just stayed on track and not let her mind wander, she’d be alright.

However, twenty minutes into her work, the same woman whose sole purpose was to make Sakura’s life hell came strolling back in from her cigarette break. Tomoko leaned an elbow onto the circular desk and sighed, her breath making Sakura’s nose wrinkle a bit. “You still volunteer at that church clinic?”

“Yep,” Sakura said, not raising her eyes from the computer screen.

“So, you get to spend a lot of time with Father Hottie?”

Her fingers froze over the keyboard, eyes narrowing on the blinking cursor that waited for her to type in a patient’s blood pressure. “His name is Father _Hatake_ ,” Sakura said through clenched teeth.

Tomoko scoffed and shrugged a pudgy shoulder. “Whatever,” She said as she leaned an elbow over the countertop. “I thought about volunteering one day but saw that the team was full and your name is on the roster for the next couple of weeks.” The snide tone in which she spoke made was like nails on a chalkboard to Sakura’s ears and she felt her entire body cringe in response.

_Just ignore her, Sakura_ . _She’s trying to get under your skin so don’t let her._

Her fingers tapped across the keyboard, entering the information she had written down earlier from her rounds as she clenched her jaw to keep herself focused on her task and not on the annoying woman’s teasing.

Tomoko clucked her tongue and looked down at the manicured fingernails sitting atop her sausage fingers. “But, I guess I can’t blame you for wanting to be around someone _that_ hot. Has he shown you what’s beneath his cassock yet?”

There was no way she could ignore _that_. The computer screen blurred before her as she tried to soothe the fury inside her but the side of Sakura that she usually kept hidden away came barrelling to the surface, ready to fight. She jumped to her feet, sending her rolling chair sliding out from behind her. “Alright, I’ve had it with this crap, Tomoko! You’re behavior is incredibly unprofessional and downright disrespectful! He’s not some piece of meat for you to pounce on! He’s...”

Despite keeping her voice down, Sakura’s tone and words had caught the attention of the other staff members in ear shot. She felt her face burn bright as she noticed them out of the corner of her eyes. They turned to stare at the two women, locked together in a battle of icy glares with only the nurse’s desk separating them. Tomoko clucked her tongue and slowly folded her arms across her chest as a slow, wicked grin curled her lips. She made a soft hum sound behind her closed lips before turning to walk away.

As soon as the others had turned their backs, heads bent toward one another to whisper amongst themselves, Sakura felt her shoulders fall. She dropped her head and pressed a hand to her forehead, cursing herself for falling right into Tomoko’s trap. She had been looking for an outburst from her, and Sakura had given it right to her.

But, she couldn’t take it anymore.

The way she spoke about him...It was like driving pins beneath her fingernails; pure torture. And what’s worse was the fact that the things Tomoko had said paled in comparison to what Sakura had already thought about him.

* * *


	6. Hellfire

* * *

 

AN- It gets a little...heavy in this chapter. ;)

***Unholy***

****Chapter 6: Hellfire****

****

 

* * *

 

The sound of the front door opening was barely heard over the voices singing from the choir but a few members of the congregation, as well as Father Hatake, had heard. He rose from the pew and turned toward the center aisle, ready to greet whoever had come in. From his seat at the back of the nave, it took a moment for whoever had walked in to come into his view. 

 

The scattered congregation all kept their attention on the Sisters of the Leaf singing a traditional hymn and he was thankful for that. When a familiar figure came around the corner, green eyes darting around the crowd as she stepped between the pews, Kakashi felt his entire body stiffen. She had been the last person he expected to see, especially since she had made it pretty obvious that she would not be visiting for any kind of service. But, he couldn’t deny that he had been holding onto the hope that she would. And now, here she was and he had no idea what to do or think.

 

His mouth was dry and he swallowed hard, tongue desperately darting out to wet his lips in the few seconds he had before she turned and caught sight of him. The sight of her lips curling into a smile as her eyes fell onto him made his heart skipped several beats. And when she turned to make her way toward him him, Kakashi had to put a hand on the back of the pew in front of him to keep himself steady. His fingers, to his surprise, were shaking.

 

“Hi,” she breathed, keeping her voice low beneath the voices from the choir. A slip of pink hair fell across her eyes and Kakashi struggled to keep his hand at his side despite how badly he was begging to reach up and push it back behind her ear. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

 

“No,” He said, forcing himself to smile. “Not at all. Please, sit.” 

 

She lowered herself down onto the pew beside him, smoothing the material of her skirt down around legs as she settled back. Kakashi swallowed and forced his eyes toward the sisters standing together in the sanctuary. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the strip of pale, ivory skin across the tops of her knees. 

 

_ God, help me keep my thoughts pure. _ He didn’t have the strength to pray for much more, angry at himself for even needing it at all. It wasn’t like Sakura was the first pretty girl he had ever seen. There had been many temptations in his life, even before he took the vow and became a priest. But, none had felt this... _ intense _ . 

 

From the first moment he had laid eyes on her, he had become completely enraptured. Everything about her intrigued him. He wanted to know why she was so hesitant about coming into the church, what could have happened in her past to make her feel this way and he wanted to help her through it. 

 

But, he’d be lying to himself if he denied that he wanted more than that. 

 

He wanted more than he could ever ask for, ever expect to receive from her.

 

The Sisters of The Leaf finished the song and he blinked in surprise. It was as if he had turned his mind completely off, hearing nothing but the blood pumping fast in his own ears. As the sisters turned their hymn books to the next song, Kakashi let himself relax back against the pew just a bit. He could feel the heat coming off of Sakura’s body, warming his left side. He kept his hands folded in his lap, knowing nothing good would come if he were to put them on the seat between them.

 

Another song was quickly started on the organ and the music quickly filled the parish. Kakashi was thankful that for the moment, he could ignore his immoral thoughts and focus on the message of the hymns. But, it wasn’t long before the chorus of voices faded into background noise.

 

“Will there be a service tonight?” Sakura leaned closer to him, her hair spilling over her shoulder and brushing against his arm. Though he couldn’t feel it through the fabric of his sleeves, he knew it was there and he would dream of how soft it would feel in his hands all night. 

 

Blinking himself out of his daze, he shook his head and made the mistake of turning to look at her. The tops of her cheeks matched the color of her hair and despite the ring of exhausted circles beneath her eyes, she was absolutely breathtaking. “No,” he whispered to her, not sure if she could even hear it. “Not until tomorrow night.”

 

He watched her swallow, his eyes drawn down to the muscles of her throat. His mind was filled with cries of misery calling out, begging him to find the strength inside himself to resist. He managed to turn away from her, his attention back on the choir but his left hand came loose. It slid down to the seat, resting close to his thigh. 

 

The sisters sang on, their voices calling for God’s guidance and praising His holy wisdom. It only made the guilt inside Kakashi magnify. He hated himself for not being strong enough. In all of his years, not once had he let himself slip this far into temptation. He knew he should excuse himself from her presence, to move to the other parishioners and get his mind back on the path of holiness. But, his body refused to budge.

 

And when her little finger brushed against the side of his hand, Kakashi had to close his eyes. His breath came out in tiny, quivering puffs and he refused to let his fingers reach for her. He flew through a Hail Mary prayer in his mind, searched for any scripture he could think of about resisting temptations. His thoughts were a blur in his head, swirling like a violent storm. 

 

From beside him on the pew, Sakura inched her hand closer to his. Warm fingertips danced across the back of his knuckles, sending jolts of electricity through his entire body and leaving a trail of burning ruins in its wake. He heard her sigh, the sound eliciting a rush of heat that flared white hot across his body and settled low in his belly. And it was impossible to keep himself from reaching for her after that.

 

Their fingers entwined, her palm against the back of his hand. Her skin was softer than he had ever imagined and he tried not to think about how it would feel to have her touch elsewhere on his body. His breath shuddered in and out. From the corner of his eye, he could see her chest rising and falling in the same labored pace. Her eyes were closed and lips parted. Kakashi had never wanted to kiss someone as badly as he wanted to kiss her in that moment. He wanted to taste her tongue on his, wanted to drink her in and devour every bit of her. 

 

_ God, help me… _

 

He could feel himself growing hard beneath the fabric of his robes, pressing tight against them. All because of an innocent touch? No, it was more than that. It was all of the things his body was begging for him to do. Touch her, kiss her, lay her back on the pew and taste every inch of her smooth skin on his tongue.

 

His hand moved before he could stop himself, his fingers stretching toward her bare thigh that stretched out from beneath her skirt. Her legs parted as she pushed her knee into his hand. The warmth of her flesh burned beneath his touch, reminding him of the hellfire that waited for him if he did. Not.  _ Stop! _

 

Kakashi jerked his hand away from her thigh and dragged it across his face, sucking in a deep, quivering breath as he fought to regain control of himself. The Sisters of the Leaf were singing just as they had been before, their voices suddenly loud to Kakashi’s ears. He wanted to curse himself for being so stupid. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Sakura whispered beside him, sitting up straight as she turned to face him. Her eyes searched his, begging for his forgiveness. It wasn’t he who she should be asking it from. But, despite how angry he was with himself, he didn’t blame her.  _ He  _ should be the one begging for her forgiveness. 

 

“No,” he said quietly. “Don’t be. I know better.”

 

Her mouth curved into a frown and she looked down at her lap, nodding as if he had scolded her. It made him want to reach for her and pull her close. He didn’t. 

 

“So do I,” she whispered, not looking up at him. “I just can’t help myself sometimes.” There was so much she wasn’t telling him, so much pain in her whispered words that made his chest squeeze tight. “I need to leave. I shouldn’t have even come.”

 

She turned her back to him, raising off the pew. “Sakura,” He reached for her wrist but hesitated, pulling his hand back as if he were a child who remembered that touching things he shouldn’t would burn. She instantly noticed his apprehension to touch her and just before she turned away, could see the hurt in her face. He watched her walk away, head ducked to hide her face behind a curtain of pink. Even after she had left the church and parking lot, Kakashi still felt as if he were on fire.

 

* * *

 

 

The room was sweltering hot, despite the fan circling on high overhead. Sweat collected in the space between the small of Kakashi’s back and his mattress beneath him. For the past two hours, he had been laying in bed, trying to force himself to fall asleep by reciting scripture, prayers, singing the hymns that had been in his head all damn night. None if it had helped. Every time his eyelids slid close, he would see her face in his mind. Pink hair curling over her shoulders, her rosy lips parted in a sigh as he touched her knee. She was an absolute vision, one that he couldn’t get out of his head.

 

It was torture.

 

He raked both hands through his hair and kicked the remaining sheets away from his feet with a heavy sigh. He had to get her out of his mind. None of his usual tactics were working and with each failed attempt, a voice in the back of his mind grew a little bit louder. There was always  _ one _ thing he could do to relieve this ache within him. 

 

It’s not like he had never done it before. He was a man after all and had been taught that it was only seen as a sin in God’s eyes if he were to lust after a woman while doing it. Performing the act to relieve tension was natural. 

 

Yet, his hands remained across his chest, fingers drumming with impatience. He wished the fan would cool his heated skin, wished he didn’t have a crucifix hanging on the wall across the bed, watching him, wished he wasn’t alone in his bed…Kakashi groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow beneath him. He was careful not to lay on his erection pressing hard against the front of his pajama pants. It was already painful enough as it was without him adding any extra friction to it. 

 

Kakashi gripped the extra pillow at his side and hugged it closer to him, growling in frustration as the edge of it rubbed against him. His first instinct was to push it away but the sudden rush of pleasure that rippled through him made him pause. Closing his eyes, he pushed his hips toward the pillow, his cock pressing into the soft material. He hated how good it felt. Before he could stop himself, he repeated the move and the groan that rumbled from his throat surprised him.

 

There was no turning back now. He had to relieve this torturous ache. Hands fumbling with the hem of his pajama pants, he pulled himself free and sighed at the feel of the pillow against his bare cock. Kakashi pushed himself up onto his elbows, rocking his hips slowly. He closed his eyes and a flash of pink appeared behind his eyelids. Pink hair and jade eyes staring up at him from the bed. 

 

He slowed to a stop and opened his eyes, knowing this was  _ wrong. _

 

Another voice sprang through his mind,  _ her  _ voice, telling him that he shouldn’t have to apologize for being human. He saw her lips, the muscles of her throat moving as she swallowed, felt the smooth stretch of flesh across her knee...Kakashi rolled his hips over the pillow beneath him and sucked in a breath. 

 

His heart pounded so hard in his chest he could hear it in his ears. And though he knew he would have to atone for these sins, he decided to deal with that when the morning came. For now, he wanted nothing but Sakura. 

 

Just her name whispered through his mind made his body shudder. He thrust harder, snaking one hand between his stomach and the bed to reach for his cock. A bead of moisture was already dripping from the tip. Taking his lip between his teeth, he curled his fingers around his length. The warmth of his hand made his breath quicken. He kept it still against the mattress and thrust himself into it. 

 

_ Father Hatake _ , he could hear her whisper in his mind.  _ I need you, Father Hatake.  _

 

He thought of kissing her and running his tongue down her throat and between her breasts. Her milky thighs would wrap around him as he pushed himself into her. She would whimper and beg him not to stop and he would promise her that he wouldn’t. 

 

Kakashi gasped, gripping the headboard so hard with his free hand that the wood creaked in protest. His heart hammered hard, hips jerking as he felt heat swarming into his lower belly. It didn’t take much longer before he was crying out her name, spilling hot and wet over his hand and onto the bed. The waves of intensity and pleasure rolled through him over and over, his hand slowly pumping his slick cock in time with each one. 

 

He collapsed onto the bed, rolling away from the mess he had made. He draped an arm across his face, struggling to calm his racing pulse as he stared up at the ceiling. He braced himself for the usual rush of guilt that followed the act but none came. Although he knew tomorrow would be a completely different story, for tonight at least, he was relieved to feel some peace. And when he closed his eyes to fall asleep, she was still there, smiling at him. 

* * *

 


	7. Repentance

* * *

 

***Unholy***   


****Chapter 7: Repentance****

****

 

 

 

* * *

 

Sakura didn’t know what to do. She paced the length of her bedroom floor with her thumb between her teeth, biting at the skin surrounding her fingernail. It had been an hour since she had fled from the church and her heart was pounding inside her chest as if Father Hatake were still sitting beside her. She remembered the way his fingers had trembled as he slid them over the bare skin of her knee. 

 

And even now, hours since he had touched her, her legs felt like jelly and she had to sit down on the corner of her bed. She didn’t know how it was possible that he could make her feel something so intense with just a small, simple touch. But, it had awakened something that burned like an inferno inside her, sucking up all of the air and leaving her gasping for more. 

 

Sakura clawed at the hem of her skirt as she laid back on her bed, breathless and whimpering. Her fingers raked along the inside of her thighs and she closed her eyes, imagining his fingers instead of hers. Even without feeling herself, she knew how wet she was. She had been since the moment she had saw him, and it had been like a damn monsoon as he gave in to the temptation to touch her. 

 

As horrible as it was, as wicked and immoral and  _ evil  _ as these feelings were , seeing him give in to her for just a second or two had turned her on faster than anything ever had before in her life. And as her fingers touched the damp material of her panties, pressing against her sex, the way he had looked at her in the church flashed through her mind. He had looked at her as she stood to leave, his eyes filled with so much torment, as if the very sight of her pained him. He saw her as the wicked, immoral and evil thing she was.

 

Sakura’s hands slipped away from her thighs and fell to the bed on either side of her as she blinked up at the ceiling. He had seen her for what she truly was and he had been disgusted with it. The realization that he could possibly never want to see her again stung the back of her eyelids. Maybe it was better this way. Even though she was dying for more of him, the last thing she wanted to do was ruin him. But, to know that he was disgusted by her, that he didn't want to be near her again would be torture.

 

* * *

 

 

Despite begging with her supervisor for nearly half an hour the night before, Sakura was unable to get out of volunteer duty. She did, however, get a full lecture on the power of volunteering and how important it was for the lead nurse to set an example for everyone else. And before she could even think up an excuse good enough not to go the next day, the door had shut in her face. 

 

Which lead her to where she was now; sitting in her car on a Thursday morning in the parking lot of an out of business fast food place across from the familiar parish. In the drab morning light, the usually blinding white facade of the building didn’t hold the same luster as before. The cross sitting high on top of the steeple seemed to be dull as well, instead of the blinding beacon of hope it usually was. But, perhaps that was because of what had happened the last time she had stepped foot inside the doors. Perhaps she had tainted the entire thing with her vile behavior. 

 

Sakura groaned and let her head fall against the steering wheel between her hands. The thought of having to fake smiles and small talk with her coworkers for the next several hours when all she wanted to do was crawl back into bed was making her feel sick. But, she’d rather do all of those things than see him today. She didn’t want him to ever look at her the way he had the other night again. 

 

After a few more moments of banging her head against the steering wheel, Sakura shifted gears and pulled the car out of the empty lot and crossed into the church’s. The front doors of the parish were shut this morning, making the whole building look uninviting. She frowned and parked in an empty space toward the back. She took a few minutes to breathe deeply and calmly, though it did little to help her nerves. 

 

The rest of her coworkers had arrived and were unloading the supplies to set up along the table. In her rear view mirror, she caught a few of them looking toward her car, probably wondering what the hell she was waiting for. She didn’t know the answer to that question. Maybe, lightning would strike her as soon as she got out of her car, giving her a legitimate excuse for missing today. For the first time in years, she prayed.

 

Sakura braced herself and stepped out of the car, leaving her purse inside and dropping her keys into the front pocket of her top, just in case she had to make a fast getaway. Her stomach twisted tightly inside her, protesting each and every step she took that brought her closer to the church building. Her eyes darted to the rows of windows, knowing that somewhere behind them he was in there. Did he know she was here? Was he going to avoid her all day?

 

She didn’t know which was worse; seeing him after what she did, or not seeing him at all. 

 

“Sakura, could you get the last box from my car, please?” One of the other nurse’s called from the tables, pointing toward the open trunk of the car beside her. She nodded and grabbed the box, hoping that today would be somewhat manageable. If she could survive med school, and night shifts in the emergency department, she could handle this, right?

 

A flash of silver caught the corner of her eye and the corner of the box slipped out of her fingertips. She grabbed the flap across the top before it could tumble out of her hands and turned to stare at what had caught her eyes. But it wasn’t Father Hatake's silver hair that she had grown to adore. It was a strip of white fabric that was tied to the railing of the stairs flapping in the breeze. The ribbon looked like it was left over from a wedding or maybe a christening. And though it looked nothing like the silver hair she had been hoping to see, Sakura’s heart was still pounding. 

 

All day, when anyone said her name, or tapped her on the shoulder, she would leapt several inches off the ground. And each time, she expected to see him staring down at her with the same frown he had the other night. But, it was never him. For six hours, she worked the clinic with no visit from the priest she had gotten so used to seeing. The rational side of her brain tried to reason with her paranoia. He had other things to do. He couldn’t stand around, talking to her and eating lunch with her every single time she was here.

 

Eating her sandwich alone on the front steps was almost as hard as it was just being there. She kept glancing behind her, hoping to see him lurking in the doorway wearing those impossibly black robes. She even ate slower than usual, taking her full thirty minutes to wait for him. Even if he just passed by, she would say hello and be friendly with him, show him that she wasn’t the monster he thought she was.

 

But, after the half hour had passed with no visit from Father Hatake, Sakura gave up with a sigh and dumped her half eaten sandwich back in the paper bag. She tossed it in a nearby trash can, dusted her hands off on the back of her pants and made her way back to the tent. One of the sisters stood near the table, speaking to one of the nurses. As Sakura approached, she could hear what they were saying.

 

“Oh, I’m not in charge,” the nurse said, catching sight of Sakura from over the sister’s shoulder. “Sakura would know better than we would.”

 

The nun turned and caught sight of Sakura. She smiled sweetly and took a step closer. “Do you have a moment?”

 

“Sure, what’s up?” Sakura put her hands on her hips and knew she probably should speak with a bit more respect but her heart was damn near leaping out of her throat. Her brain could barely function as it was. Would they tell her she wasn’t welcome there anymore? Did he send the sister to cast her out of the parking lot?

 

“Father Hatake needs to speak with whomever is in charge.”

 

Sakura felt her heart take a turn and drop right to the pit of her stomach. She put a hand to her throat as it tightened around any sound she could make. All she could do was nod and follow the elderly woman across the lawn as if she were in a trance. This wasn’t happening. Was he actually going to tell them that this was over? Had she really affected him this badly?

 

Of course, she had. She could see it loud and clear in his eyes that night. 

 

As they entered into a side door of the church building, Sakura had to blink several times to adjust her eyes to the sudden dim light. To her left, the woman called to her. “Father Hatake’s office is just around the corner.” By now, Sakura’s heart was a mess of beats inside her chest, not making a discernible pattern. It was just one flurry of a pulse and she felt weak.

 

Her legs moved on their own, taking her further down the hallway. Her thoughts raced through her head in a blur. What could this possibly be about? Did she look okay? She didn’t feel okay. She could practically  _ feel  _ how pale she looked, all color draining from her face the moment she had been told she would be speaking to him. 

 

At the end of the hallway was a single door with a gold name plate beside it that read  _ Father Hatake _ . Just seeing his name written there in the gold lettering made her heart drop inside her. She swallowed and waited patiently as the nun knocked her knuckles against the wood. Half a second later, a familiar voice called from the other side, “Come in.” 

 

The sound of the knob twisting and hinges creaking startled Sakura. She sucked in a sharp breath and clamped her lips shut around it before following the older woman into the office. The room was smaller than she had expected with thick curtains drawn over a single window. Shelves of books lined every wall, every spare corner completely filled. Any other time and Sakura would have loved to look through each one of them but as she moved further inside, she was so focused on seeing him sitting behind his desk that she lost all train of rational thought. He was typing something on a laptop and didn’t look up at either of them as they entered. The contrast between the ancient artifacts sitting around the room, the heavy curtains and filled bookshelves compared to the glow of his computer screen was a bit jarring. It was so out of place among the antiquated feel that it almost made Sakura smile. 

 

It quickly faded as he lifted his eyes to her and held her stare for a moment. He finished typing and closed the laptop with a click that made Sakura blink. “Thank you, Sister.” She bowed her head to him and turned to leave, pulling the door shut behind her. Before it could close all the way, Father Hatake called out, “Leave it open, please.” 

 

_ Damn _ , that annoying voice in the back of her head cursed and Sakura quickly shoved it out of her mind. It stung to know that he didn’t trust her enough behind closed doors but she ignored it and forced a cautious smile to him. He stood from his chair and gestured for her to sit in the seat across from his desk. “Please, have a seat.” She did as he asked, lowering herself into the chair on trembling legs. “I’m not sure if you’ve been informed yet, but I—“

 

With a sigh, Sakura held her hands up to stop him before he said the words she had been dreading to hear. “Look, I know what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have let it happen and I truly am sorry but I don’t think my actions should be the reason you pull the plug on the clinic. If you’re uncomfortable with me being here, I’ll take myself off the task and won’t bother you ever again,” she took a breath, knowing she was rambling but the words were flowing now and it was hard to stop. She kept her eyes focused on a pen laying on his desk, too nervous to look him in the eye. “But, don’t punish the community for my mistakes. This is doing a lot of good for the people in need and if it’s shut down because of me, I’ll feel  _ horrible.  _ I mean, I  _ already _ feel pretty terrible but I know I would feel so much worse if—“

 

“ _Sakura_ ,” he laughed, holding his hand up to stop her. She blinked up at him and snapped her lips shut, swallowing hard. “I agree that this clinic is doing a lot of good. Which is why we’re not shutting it down. Next week is Ash Wednesday so we will need to reschedule the clinic to the weekend.” 

 

The silence that followed his words was deafening, pierced only by a small ringing sound in Sakura’s ears. She stared at him as the color that had once drained from her face returned in full force, heating her cheeks to a fever degree. God, why had she opened her big mouth? She felt like a complete and total moron. Embarrassment and relief was an odd mix of emotions for her to go through in such a short amount of time but she was thrilled that he wasn’t shutting them down, nor getting rid of her. “Oh,” was all she could bring herself to say.

 

Father Hatake stood from his chair and circled the desk, reaching for the door to his office. Needless to say, her heart pounded hard inside her chest as she watched him push the door until there was only a small crack left open. “But, since you mentioned the other night, I think we should discuss some things.”

 

“Oh,” she repeated, turning in her chair to face him.

 

He crossed back to his desk and sat on the corner of it, folding his hands in his lap with a sigh. Sakura studied his black robes and the line of equally dark buttons that ran down his chest from just beneath the white collar around his neck to the hem that sat on top of his shoes. She wondered how long it would take to unbutton each one of them. Her eyes followed them back up until she met his gaze and the look behind it sent fire through her lower belly. It wasn't the look of disgust like she had been expecting all day. It was actually the opposite and it made her swallow.

 

“I think we both had a moment of weakness and I apologize for being so presumptuous.” He kept his voice low, eyes darting back to the door to nervously check for anyone who could be walking by. It made Sakura’s heart race at the thought and she bit the inside of her lip to keep those immoral thoughts that wanted to pop up at bay. “I’d like for us to be friends, Sakura. I think there’s a reason that you and I met.”

 

“You mean,” she started, trying to control herself despite the sudden rush of desire she was feeling for him. If the door had been closed all the way, she was almost certain she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from doing something she really shouldn’t. Then again, she had tried to hold his hand in a semi crowded church and would have been more than willing to let him go further up her thigh. Sakura licked her dry lips and felt the corner of them twist up into a smirk. “Like it was God’s plan?”

 

For a moment, he didn’t respond. He stared at her, his gaze lowering to her lips before quickly darting back up to her eyes and she wished she could read his thoughts. She’d give anything to know what was running through that mind of his. Was he thinking about the way he had touched her, the way she had spread her legs for him? Did he want to kiss her as badly as she wanted to kiss him in that moment? 

 

“Perhaps,” his voice broke her out of her daze and she sat back in her chair with a nod. How did he make her feel this? It was like she had no self control and all the years of struggling to reign in this insatiable need just flew right out the window. She tried to remember ever wanting someone like this but couldn’t recall. “All I know is, I would like for us to be friends.” 

 

He said it with a certain emphasis on the word ‘friends’, telling her that it was all they could be. She accepted it, but knew it wouldn’t change how she felt. Being his friend just ensured her a place in his life. She knew she should tell him that it was probably a bad idea, that she would inevitably fuck up his life but she didn’t. She couldn’t. She was too afraid he would believe her and take her advice. 

 

“I’d like that as well,” she smiled, hoping she would be able to control herself around him in the future. She would certainly try, of course, but with the way he looked at her, the way he said her name, and now that she knew what his fingers felt like across her flesh, it would be damn hard.

* * *

 

 


	8. Dust

 

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 8: Dust****

 

****

 

 

* * *

 

“You’re going _where?_ ” Ino asked as she slammed the microwave door shut, the sound echoing in the break room on the first floor of the Konoha Hospital. Her blue eyes were wide with surprise as she asked her best friend to repeat what she had just said. Sakura rolled her eyes and blew into the steaming cup of ramen in her hand.

 

“I’m going to mass tonight. It’s Ash Wednesday.” She tucked one leg under her as she took a seat on the couch pushed into the corner. The old springs inside the cushion creaked in protest at her weight and she wiggled a bit to try to get comfortable. It had sat in the break room for at least five years and before that had been in the maternity ward waiting room since the dawn of time. Every year, the nurse’s asked for a new couch but every year they were denied.

 

Ino leaned a hip against the counter beneath the microwave and shook her head with a scoff. “Hasn’t it been like, what, five years since you even stepped foot into a church?”

 

She shrugged and took a bite of the noodles, sucking the length of them into her mouth. The steam rising from the cup tickled and warmed her nose. “It’s just Ash Wednesday. Not like I’m going to join a convent or anything.” Not like they would even want her to join in the first place. Besides, giving up sex for the rest of her life sounded like the kind of torture that only Satan himself could dream up.

 

The microwave beeped before Ino could respond and she turned to retrieve the burrito she had thrown in it. As she wrapped it in a paper towel, she turned to glance over her shoulder. “Yeah, but from the things you told me, I figured church would be the last place you’d ever willingly go.” She bit into the burrito and winced from the piping hot filling inside.

 

It was true. Sakura had told her about all the bullshit she had been through in her past, about being prayed over endlessly, and being told to repent her sins otherwise hell would welcome her with open arms. But, she wasn’t a scared teenager anymore and had left that life behind years ago. She shrugged the memories away and picked up another bite of noodles before slurping them up into her mouth. “Well, maybe I just want to be closer to God.”

 

“God, or a particularly attractive man of God?”

 

Sakura scowled at her friend, choosing to ignore her and focus on eating her instant ramen instead of giving her an answer. The cushions of the couch groaned as Ino flopped down on them with her steaming burrito. She risked another bite and chewed through the burn, knowing they both had less than ten minutes left on their break. “As long as you know what you’re doing, Forehead.”

 

“I know what I’m doing,” Sakura said, tossing her empty styrofoam cup into the nearby trash can. She rose from the couch and adjusted her pony tail, glancing down at her friend. “I’m just going to attend mass. What’s the worst that could happen?”

 

* * *

 

 

Shit!

 

Sakura cursed as she got caught by the third red light in a row. She was late for mass, something she never thought she’d say again in her life but couldn’t dwell too much on that thought at the moment. Half of her makeup was on, slapped on while she was stopped at the red lights, and she was sure that her dress hadn’t been washed properly since the last time she wore it. She was officially a hot mess.

 

Which wasn’t entirely her fault. She had asked to be off work by 6 o’clock, giving her more than enough time to go home and change into something other than scrubs. Had it worked out that way? Of course not. She had been up to her elbows in paperwork by 6 and none of it could wait for the next day. By the time she had peeled out of the parking lot, it was ten past seven. She had gotten changed in record time and could only hope that she hadn’t missed too much of the service.

 

As the light switched to green, she stomped on the gas and passed the car going ten under the speed limit for the past twenty minutes. The church was less than a block away. She could see the steeple towering over the rest of the buildings surrounding it and her heart skipped several beats.

 

She pulled her car into the familiar lot and took a deep breath, glancing around at the sparsely packed parking lot. It didn’t seem like many people wanted to venture out tonight for the service. Sakura felt bad for Father Hatake. It must be disheartening to preach to such a small crowd. Then again, he was the kind of person who would appreciate each and every single person who came to listen.

 

Sakura flipped down her visor and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She fixed the smudges of black liner beneath her eyelid and grabbed the gloss from the makeup bag she had snatched from her bathroom. It had very little color but always managed to make her lips look fresh and dewy. She hoped they looked as kissable as she wanted them to be. Giving them a quick pop, she capped the gloss and tossed it back into the bag once she was satisfied with how she looked.

 

The wind had picked up after the sun had went down for the night and it whipped the material of her skirt around her thighs. She held it in place with one hand as she kicked her car door shut and hurried up the lawn to the front doors. With her free hand, she grabbed the door handle but hesitated before opening it.

 

 _It’s just one mass,_ she reassured herself. _You can sit through one mass for him. For your friend._

 

He had invited her to attend the last time she had spoken to him, in his office the previous week. And instead of the usual ‘maybe’ answer that she usually gave him, Sakura had assured him that she would attend. She tried not to think of his face, tried not to picture the look of surprise he would have when he saw her waltz in nearly 40 minutes late. It was already making her knees wobble beneath her.

 

Taking a deep breath, Sakura pulled on the door handle before she could talk herself out of it. Inside the massive nave, she could hear his voice and it sent a cascade of delightful chills down her body. She took slow steps through the vestibule, chewing the inside of her lip as her eyes fell on him.

 

He stood at the pulpit, speaking to the handful of people who had gathered while a few altar boys stood to the side. Nothing he said reached her ears. She was too busy listening to her own breath and heartbeat pounding inside her chest. And when his eyes lifted from the pulpit, catching sight of her standing near the last pew, Sakura could have sworn she saw a small smile on his lips.

 

She took the first pew she came to and sat down, stuffing her trembling fingers beneath her legs as she crossed them. Half of her was nervous just by being there, in mass with all of the religious figures staring down at her from the stained glass windows. The other half, the half that had forced her to come, was begging for her to just _look_ at him. It was starving for his attention, dying for another glimpse or touch from his hand. Sakura inhaled a shaky breath and lifted her gaze to him.

 

Seeing him stand behind the pulpit, speaking his sermon to the congregation, brought on a whole new level of desire to Sakura. She had grown used to seeing him as the priest, roaming the church and grounds, ready to lend a listening ear. But now, he seemed so...authoritative and dominant. It made Sakura’s mouth water.

 

Finally, his words started to reach her ears and she let herself relax into the pew. Out of the corner of her eye, she glanced toward where they had been sitting the night they had shared the one, innocent touch that had plagued her dreams every night. She took her bottom lip between her teeth, shook the hair from her eyes so she could see him more clearly and listened to what he was saying.

 

“‘For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life, is not of the Father but of the world’,” he recited from the pages of his bible. “Everyone is tempted to sin. No one is immune to temptation.”

 

Sakura held her breath as his words sank into her mind. She watched as his eyes scanned the less than enthusiastic crowd of mostly elderly couples and families, meeting everyone of them quickly before passing onto the next. And then they met hers and they held her gaze for so long that Sakura’s chest ached and burned for the breath she was still holding in. He glanced back down at his bible laid out in front of him before continuing. “When the serpent told Eve that eating the fruit would give her wisdom and she would become like God, Eve faced her first temptation. She desired the fruit, she had lust for the flesh.”

 

A woman coughed from the front of the church, drawing Sakura’s attention away from Father Hatake for a brief moment. Suddenly, she became aware of every little sniffle, every turn of the delicate pages of the bibles. It was smothering her and Sakura felt panic bubbling just beneath the surface of her skin. She fought the urge to leave, tried to force away the memories of her past that clawed their way through her mind and stayed rooted to the spot on the back pew, waiting for him to continue.

 

“She had the desire and when she considered eating the fruit to gain wisdom, she justified the sin. If I eat this, I will become more like God. When we face temptation, we entertain the benefits of the sin. We convince ourselves that it’s worth it.” Something in his words made Sakura’s gaze lift to his, meeting it instantly. She expected to see the same look in his eyes that he had given her the night they had touched. She expected him to see her like the serpent in the Garden of Eden, sneaky and wicked. But, he didn’t. He looked at her from across the length of the nave like he wished everyone else would disappear and it would just be the two of them. It made her sigh, all of the panic and doubt slipping away. Did anyone else notice how he was staring at her? Did she even care?

 

He tore his gaze from hers and continued on but Sakura was too lost in her own thoughts to pay attention now. She dwelled on what he had said and actually took it to heart. Temptation was something she had always struggled with. It was as if she always had a serpent slithering behind her, whispering justifications of her sins to her. But, Sakura didn’t feel like Eve in this situation.

 

She glanced to the enormous stained glass windows behind the sanctuary, towering over the interior of the church. In one panel, there stood Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, a serpent sneaking its way between their feet. The black, beady eyes of the snake caught Sakura’s attention and she swallowed. If she wasn’t Eve, did that mean she was the serpent?

 

* * *

 

 

Kakashi watched as each member of the congregation stood up and formed a line in the middle of the aisle to receive their blessing. All of them, except one. Sakura remained seated but she was watching him. He could feel her stare before he even saw it for himself, burning across his body.

 

He hoped she wasn’t offended by his sermon. He hadn’t meant it to be so specific to their situation but, if he was being honest, he didn’t really expect her to show up. He merely spoke about what had been laying heavily on his heart the last few weeks. There had never been a time in his life where he faced the kind of temptations he had been facing recently. And a little part of him knew it was because of her but the rest of him didn’t want to even listen.

 

The only other option would be for her to not be a part of his life and though he knew it was dangerous, he had meant what he had said to her. He truly believed they were brought together for a reason. He just hoped that reason wouldn’t send him to hell.

 

As the parishioners stepped up to the altar one by one, Kakashi couldn’t help glancing over their heads to the back of the room. Why wasn’t she joining them? Did she not want to be blessed? She had told him before that she was no longer comfortable being in church. Maybe she was still apprehensive about the whole thing. If that were the case, then he was glad she came tonight. In a way, he hoped she had came specifically for _him._ Although, he knew that was incredibly selfish of him to want.

 

He dipped his fingers into the bowl of ash and marked the cross over the foreheads of both altar boys, moving onto the elderly members of the church who stepped up behind them. One by one, they received their blessing, bowing their heads to him in thanks before moving back to take their seats among the pews. And after each one, he still expected Sakura to stand up and join them. She never did.

 

As the last person received their cross and shuffled back to their seat, Kakashi handed the bowl of ashes off to one of the altar boys and gestured for the congregation to stand. They bowed their heads, waiting his prayer. All but one, that is.

 

Sakura stood in her place, her hands on the pew in front of her as she watched him with a dark expression that made his mind go blank. He had to look away from her. If he kept his eyes on her, he would surely be too entranced to continue. Clearing his throat, he closed his eyes and prayed for the congregation, sending them on their way with a quick request for guidance and protection.

 

Kakashi was lead by the altar boys down the aisle. The entire walk to the front doors of the church seemed to pass agonizingly slow. He tried to keep his focus on the back of the boy’s heads but he was struck by her beauty. Her hair was down, falling over her shoulders to curl at the ends, just above her breasts. He tried not to look lower but failed.

 

The smooth stretch of skin beneath her throat, the curve of her breasts over the top of her dress, it was all so tantalizing, so deliciously inviting. His mouth watered at the sight. And when she took her lower lip between her teeth, biting the pink flesh the way he was dying to, Kakashi felt fire touch his soul. It burned through him, consuming him with dark lust that he could no longer deny. Being friends didn’t seem possible, not when he felt like this when she was near. But, what was the alternative?

 

Never seeing her again wasn’t an option. He would just have to resist the temptation.

 

They passed by Sakura’s pew and he positioned himself by the front doors, waiting to greet the members who were all waiting to leave. After shaking each hand and embracing the older women who always insisted on giving him a hug, he said goodbye to the altar boys who left with their families. The last of them made their way out to the parking lot and Kakashi frowned. Had she slipped out when he was preoccupied? Would she leave without saying goodbye?

 

It was probably for the best. Being alone with her wouldn’t be the best idea. But, as he turned back to make his way toward the altar to clear the bowl of ash and cloth from the table, he spotted her. She was still there, standing near the pulpit with her hands clasped innocently behind her back. From here, he could see the length of her figure and he swallowed, praying for the strength to approach her.

 

She was wearing a dark blue dress that fell just above her knees with a pair of black riding boots. It was a very typical church going outfit and reminded him of what she had said to him a few weeks back. Was this what she had decided on while standing naked in her bedroom? He tried not to think of that, shoving the mental image of her wearing nothing but her underwear to the back of his mind.

 

Kakashi made his way back to her, watching as she stared up at the stained glass windows at the back of the ceremony. There was one she seemed to be particularly interested in. The window had Adam and Eve, standing in the Garden of Eden after they had eaten the fruit, their bodies covered with leaves. They both looked rather ashamed of themselves and the serpent slithering between their legs was smug and satisfied. “You know,” Sakura’s voice broke the silence. “I think Eve gets a bad rap. I think she just wanted to be equal.”

 

Kakashi kept himself a few steps away from her, not trusting himself. He looked up at the woman in the window, nodding in understanding. Most women felt the same way as Sakura. But, instead of explaining the contrary to her like he usually would to any other person, he remained silent, turning to look down at her. She kept her face tilted up toward the window, her lips pursed in thought. It was several moments before she turned her head to look up at him. “Are you going to bless me, Father?”

 

He cursed to himself, begging her silently to not do this, to not talk to him in that tone. It made him want to do so many things that he couldn’t. Swallowing tightly, he reached for the altar table and picked the bowl of ashes up with shaking fingers. “I wasn’t sure if you would want it.” He dipped his fingers in to the dust as he met her eyes.

 

“Yes, I want it.”

 

He hesitated, his middle finger covered in ash as he held his hand between them. He licked his dry lips and blinked, breaking himself out of the trance she had over him. Slowly, he touched her, dragging a line down from her hairline to the middle of her forehead. “Remember,” He whispered, “that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” He finished the cross and stepped back, letting his hand drop to his side as she opened her eyes.

 

The corner of her lips curled on one side and Kakashi struggled to control himself. His hand trembled, wanting nothing more than to drop the bowl of ash and to sink his fingers into her hair. Sakura bowed her head with a smile that was begging for his kiss. “Thank you, Father Hatake. I’ll see you this weekend.” And with that, she turned on the heel of her boots and sauntered toward the door.

  
Only once did she turn back and glance over her shoulder at him, her gaze daring him to chase after her. He wanted to. _God_ , did he want to. But, he stood rooted to the spot at the altar instead, watching her go as he held onto the bowl of dust with his fingers still shaking.

* * *

 

 

 

AN- Excuse any errors....I kind of  _just_  finished this chapter five minutes ago? Haha, this fic got me hooked!


	9. Glossolalia

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 9: Glossolalia****

 

****

**(Glossolalia: speaking in tongues)**

**.**

* * *

 

 

For the first time in Sakura’s life, she didn’t feel like drinking or partying, yet she let Ino drag her out to one of the numerous nightclubs around Konoha anyway. The bass pumping out of the speakers was far too loud and the whole place smelled like sweat, alcohol, and cigarette smoke. Sakura wrinkled her nose as she settled back against the bench seat behind her, trying to ignore the miserable attempts at flirting from the men beside her. Two of them had honed in on Ino as soon as they walked into the club, desperate to buy the blonde any sort of cocktail that would help lower her inhibitions for the night.

Sakura grabbed her water and fought the urge to tell them there were no drinks strong enough to convince Ino to take either of them home. But, the girl loved attention, and loved it even more when a man spent money on her. So, Ino let them buy her drinks and compliment her for the past half hour.

It was a bit boring to witness and Sakura had to hide a yawn behind her palm. She checked her watch and sighed. It was only 10:43 and she was ready to be at home, in bed with a good book or at the very least her imagination. God, did this mean she was getting old? Or was she just wanting to crawl into bed and think about a certain _someone_ who should be off limits to her?

From beside her on the small, leather couch, Ino pointed toward the door with a smile. “Hey, there’s Tenten and Lee!”

Sakura’s eyes went as wide as saucers and she whipped her head toward the door. Sure enough, their friend Tenten was hurrying through the crowd with a guy behind her. A guy that Sakura could _not_ see right now. “Shit,” she cursed, ducking down low to hide behind the crowd of people that were passing by in front of them toward that dance floor. She grabbed Ino by the elbow and pulled her down with her. “I have to go.”

“What? Why?” The blonde asked, narrowly avoiding spilling the expensive cocktail the two men had just delivered to her.

“Because,” She said, biting her lip. The last thing she wanted to do was confess to Ino why she did not want to see Lee tonight, or ever again. But, there was no way around it now. What the hell was he even doing at a club? This was so not his scene! “Remember last year when Naruto threw the big christmas party?”

“Yeah,” Ino said, craning her neck to see around the crowd of people.

“I kind of let Lee finger me in the bathroom.” The look on her best friend’s face would have been hilarious under any other circumstances than the ones happening to her right now. Sakura winced and slid off the couch, grabbing her purse and throwing back the rest of her water. “So, I’m going to sneak out the side door. Don’t tell him I was here.”

“Wait, Sakura-” Ino tried to reach for her but she slipped out of her grasp and stayed behind a rather large man making his way toward the bar. The side exit was just to the left of the bar and Sakura hurried to make a quick getaway without the guy in question spotting her. She hated being like that, but everyone knew Lee had been harboring a crush on her for the last several years. And she had successfully avoided any interaction with him since the incident a few months back so there was no way she was going to confront him now.

Besides, she was ready to go home and the night air was just chilly enough that it cooled her down from the heat of the club. The seven block walk back to her apartment wouldn’t be fun but, she could use the quiet of the night to help clear her head.

Seeing Lee again, all bright eyed and cheerful as he bounced behind Tenten through the nightclub, made Sakura shake her head. What was he doing there? She hoped he hadn’t come along in hopes of seeing her. As sweet of a guy as he was, she knew she should have never let him go as far as he did. It meant nothing to her and probably meant far too much to him. All she had been looking for was a quick orgasm after drinking too many vodka cranberries and he had been the most eager and willing participant she could find. And though at the time, she hadn’t given it a second though, _now_ her guilt was weight heavily on her.

She didn’t know if it had to do with her suddenly seeing the error of her whorish ways, or if it was a certain someone’s influence over her lately. She didn’t like it. It had taken her the last few years to stop feeling guilty for how she chooses to live her life and in less than a month, one priest was changing that? Then again, it wasn’t exactly him making her feel guilty. It was herself, guilty for behaving that way toward him when he was pure.

Thinking about Father Hatake made her body temperature raise and she was thankful for the cool breeze. It was hard to keep the smile off of her face as she thought about the last time she had seen him, on Ash Wednesday. The look in his eyes as he marked her forehead with the ashes had made it difficult to keep her hands to herself. But she had been a good girl. She hadn’t touched him, hadn’t made him uncomfortable with her flirting. And sure, she had flat out told him that she _wanted it,_ but he didn’t know exactly what she had been referring to.

They had rescheduled the clinic for two days this next week and despite their brief interaction last Wednesday, Sakura was starting to have withdrawals. She missed sitting next to him on the front steps of the church while she ate her sandwiches. She missed the way he would look out at the crowd of people, happy that they were getting help. She missed him.

Before she could realize what she was doing, her hand was reaching into the small purse at her side and pulling out her cell phone. Her thumb hovered over the contact on the screen and she bit her lip, pausing on the sidewalk to lower herself down onto a bench. She had never called him before, didn’t even know if anyone would answer the church phone at 11 o’clock at night. But, for some reason, whether it was to help soothe her guilt or just to hear his voice, she had a strange urge that she couldn’t ignore. Her thumb tapped the number and she tentatively put the device to her ear.

On the third ring, he picked up. “Father Hatake speaking.” For a moment, Sakura was too surprised to even speak. She had never expected him to actually pick up. “Hello?” He urged and she could hear him typing on the other end of the line.

“H-hi,” she breathed, cringing at herself. “It’s Sakura.”

He paused, the sound of his typing turning to silence. She checked the screen of her phone to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. It hadn’t.

“Sakura, is everything alright?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” his concern had caught her off guard but she recovered quickly. It was good to hear his voice. It made her smile as she crossed the street, drawing closer to her apartment. “I just,” she paused, not sure what to say. She couldn’t tell him she missed him. That would freak him out for sure. “I just needed someone to talk to. I didn’t think you’d actually be awake.”

He laughed, the soft sound warming her heart. “I shouldn’t be awake this late but, I’m glad I decided to stay up.”

Sakura bit her bottom lip and looked up at the darkened sky, wishing he wouldn’t say things like that but absolutely loving that he did. Flirting with him was exhilarating enough as it was but having _him_ flirt with _her_? She didn’t know if she would be able to handle much of it. “Me too. What are you doing awake, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I’m working on the church calendar. Currently, I’m trying to work around two weddings and while I’m happy we’re so busy, it’s a bit overwhelming.” He sounded tired and Sakura felt bad about keeping him from his work. But, she really did not want to let him go just yet. A few more minutes was all she asked.

“Wedding season is coming up.”

“And Easter.”

“Ah, I almost forgot about Easter. I suppose I’m going to have to go shopping for a new dress for the occasion.” It wasn’t her intention to fill his mind with thoughts of her picking out dresses but, the words wouldn’t stop from tumbling from her mouth. She hoped he wouldn’t be as uncomfortable as she had made him the last time she had mentioned picking out her clothes. But, instead of growing flustered and making an excuse to hang up, Father Hatake surprised her.

“I told you we don’t have a dress code. Come as you are.”

_I just might_ , she thought to herself. Out loud, she said, “Well, I want to look pretty for-” Sakura had to stop herself, clamping her teeth hard around her lips to keep the word from spilling out. “For Easter.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will.”

She was incredibly thankful that she had walked next to a bus stop because as soon as his words sank into her mind, she had to sit down. God, she so badly wanted to ask him if _he_ thought she was pretty, wanted to keep this flirtatious game going but couldn’t. She didn’t know how far to push him and was terrified of pushing him too far. Despite her body practically begging for her to push, she resisted. “Well, I should probably let you go since it’s getting rather late. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Good night, Sakura.”

“Good night, Father Hatake.”

“You can call me Kakashi,” He said before she could hang up, making her breath catch in her throat. Her entire body tingled, buzzing with excitement that she could barely keep contained. A grin stretched across her face as she sat at the bus stop. There would be no walking home, that was for sure. She wouldn’t be able to take two steps on her wobbling legs after this.

“Good night,” Sakura repeated, wondering if he could hear the smile on her face. “Kakashi.”

* * *

 

Thursday couldn’t come fast enough and by the time eight o’clock rolled around, Sakura was the first one to pull into the church parking lot. She set everything up before any of her teammates had arrived. Whether they noticed the bounce in her step or not, she didn’t care. She had only one thing on her mind and it wasn’t handing out basic medical supplies to the less fortunate.

All week she had been repeating his name in her mind, whispering it to herself late at night as her hands dipped beneath the sheets to reach between her legs. She never let herself go far, having decided that she would be giving up all orgasms for the 40 days of Lent. Eight days had passed so far and she was going through two panties a day.

Today was no exception, either. Every time she said his name in the back of her mind, her stomach would clench tight and heat would gather in her belly. It was torture keeping her attention on the task and not searching for him every few minutes. Luckily, the crowd had been quite large and needy today, keeping her too busy to even have a moment to herself.

At five til noon, Sakura finished explaining to a man about the importance of clean needles since he insisted that he would _not_ be giving up heroin. She gave him the number to a methadone clinic that provided free, clean needles and sent him on his way. She peeled the gloves off of her hand, balling them up before tossing them away into the biohazard container, just in case. By the time she turned back to the tent, the nuns were handing out the sack lunches to the nurse’s and lining up to feed the crowd as well.

Sakura pressed a hand to her stomach, definitely not able to eat at the moment. She declined the sack when one of the older sisters held it out for her. “Oh, no, thank you,” she turned to her team of nurses. “I’m going to use the restroom and take a walk. I’ll be back in half an hour.”

She didn’t wait for their response. Sakura turned towards the front of the church and hoped none of them noticed how fast she was walking. Hopefully, they assumed she just really had to pee. In truth, she was hoping to run into Father Hatake—no, _Kakashi_. Would he allow her to call her that in public, or was it only for when they were alone together?

The thought of that made her weak and she reached for the railing that went up the center of the steps. She used it to steady herself as she hurried into the building, ducking into the small bathroom at the front. She checked her reflection, smoothing back the hair that had come loose from her ponytail and fixing the smudge of eyeliner beneath her lower lid. Though she would have preferred to look a bit better than she did, it would have to do. There was only so much she could do with scrubs and ponytail.

Sakura washed her hands and squeezed herself out of the tiny bathroom, flicking the light off with her elbow as she went. The foyer was still empty and there was no familiar figure standing on the steps, waiting for her. She felt her shoulders slump, hoping he hadn’t changed his mind about being friends in the days since she had last spoken to him.

Chewing the inside of her bottom lip, she ducked out the front door but instead of turning to the right where the parking lot sat, she went left. The front lawn of the parish stretched down the block to the street, with a stone fence surrounding the property. A cemetery full of headstones filled the extra space with enormous trees casting shade over the graves. It was peaceful and serene, despite being full of the dead and Sakura wandered to the fence. She gripped the wrought iron gate and peeked through the bars.

From behind her, someone softly cleared their throat and she turned to see Father Hatake smiling down at her. “Not hungry today?” He asked, clasping his hands together in front of him. Sakura tried not to look down but she was dying to take in the sight of him. As much as she’d love to see him out of his cassock, she very much loved the way he looked in it. So much so that her mouth had started to water.

She swallowed and turned her face up toward him, smiling sweetly. “I had a big breakfast this morning. How have you been?”

“Good,” he said, the corner of his lips curling in a way that caught Sakura’s attention. She wanted to press a kiss to them and taste his smile. “But, I’m better now.”

Her eyes met his and she wished she could grab him by the rosary beads hanging around his neck to pull him closer. Oh, it was going to be difficult being good today. Why had she given up masturbation for lent? It left her head cloudy and it was nearly impossible seeing the point of keeping her hands to herself when she was this needy and turned on. She wanted to tell him not to tease her, that just being near him was torture but she turned back to the gate of the cemetery and tried to get her mind off of all the naughty things she wanted to do to him. “You know, my great uncle is buried in this cemetery somewhere and I’ve never even visited his grave.”

“You’re more than welcome to. The gate isn’t locked.” He stepped up behind her, reaching around her shoulders to lift the latch on the gate. His elbow brushed against her arm and Sakura had to resist the urge to shudder in delight. The gate creaked open and she stepped inside, putting distance between them despite her body begging for the opposite.

Once inside the cemetery, she turned on her heel and smiled at him. “Would you want to walk with me? It’s a little spooky walking through a cemetery all alone.”

Father Hatake smiled and joined her inside the gates, letting it shut quietly behind him. He held out his hand, gesturing for her to walk ahead and Sakura did as he suggested. She lead the way through the rows of headstones, stopping occasionally to read the dates and names on some of them. Stepping up beside her as she stood from one of the grave markers, he spoke. “There’s nothing to be afraid of here. A cemetery is one of the most peaceful places there is.”

“Maybe I just wanted an excuse for you to join me.” The words were out before she could stop them and she clamped her lips shut. It was as if her body had a mind of its own, acting on every tempting impulse that passed through it.

Thankfully, he found it funny. Father Hatake lead her around one of the graves to where a few mausoleums stood. “You didn’t need an excuse to ask me to join you.”

“Is that so?” She followed him, unable to contain her smile as she watched him walk passed her.

He stopped walking, turning to face her as they made their way in between two of the stone mausoleums, each one so close she could reach out and touch them both at the same time. Behind them was the enormous church building and in front was a rather thick tree trunk, secluding them on nearly all sides. They were alone in the middle of the cemetery and Sakura felt as if her heart would stop beating altogether.  

He stepped closer to her, his eyes holding so much torment and struggle that it physically hurt her to look at him. She was causing his pain. Suddenly all the thrill of flirting with him disappeared and she realized he must think she was a horrible person. And she was. She knew it to be true. Ducking her head, Sakura took a deep breath and sighed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be this way toward you. I don’t know why I am.” Her throat tightened around the words. “It’s like I can’t stop myself sometimes.”

“I feel the same way.”

Sakura blinked up at him in surprise, her lips parting though no words could come to mind. The pain and torment she had seen in them only moments ago shifted into something else as he took a step closer, something that had her feeling weak in the knees. She backed into the stone wall behind her and reached for him with a trembling hand. As her fingers curled around the chain of blood red beads hanging from his neck, his eyes closed and he sighed softly.

“I try not to think about you, Sakura.” He whispered, his voice sending chills down her spine. She loved the words but, hated the way in which he said them. He was struggling to uphold the vows he had taken and she was so carelessly pushing him to break them. But still, her hands never left the rosary around his neck, twirling her fingers around the chain to bring him just a few inches closer. He reached out and put his hands on either side of her head, trapping her between his arms. “You’re always there when I close my eyes.”

Her breath was ragged, her heart hammering violently against her chest and the ache she had been feeling the past week had magnified. She was practically writhing against the wall of the mausoleum at her back as if she were an animal in heat. The voice in the back of her head reminded her that he was her priest, that this was completely unacceptable behavior and she should be disgusted with herself. “I’m sorry,” she whispered breathlessly, looking up into his face as his eyes opened.

The seconds passed by like hours, her fingers letting go of the chain of beads to spread up the front of his chest. Beneath her touch and the layers of fabric, she could feel the beat of his heart. It was racing just as fast as her own. “God forgive me,” Kakashi mumbled before bringing one hand to her face, tilting her chin back with a gentle push of his thumb.

He kissed her softly, their lips resting against the other’s for a brief moment. She could tell he had either never done this before or was incredibly nervous. His fingers trembled against her face, mouth hesitant to explore further. But, that was alright. She would show him how.

Sakura reached up and circled her hand around the back of his head, taking a handful of hair gently in her grip so she could guide his head to the side. He let her take control, following her silent orders and once he was positioned against her, she felt the corner of her lips lift in a smirk. She lifted herself up on her tiptoes, pressing her mouth harder against his and catching him off guard.

He whimpered against her lips and she drank it in, letting it throw fuel onto the fire raging inside her. She parted his lips with her own, savoring everything about their kiss. The sharp sting of his stubble against her chin, the warmth of his mouth, the taste on his tongue; it was all intoxicating and she was already feeling drunk from it.

It wasn’t long before he was feeling confident enough to take control and as he circled his hands around her hips to push her back against the wall, Sakura gasped in surprise. His lips were on hers again in an instant, his kiss growing hungrier, his fingers searching greedily for her flesh. They slipped beneath her top and she arched her back at his cool touch, pressing her chest hard against his. His hands roamed across her back and around to her chest, pushing the material of her shirt up around her rib cage.

Sakura thought briefly about stripping it off of her body completely but decided against it, instead focusing on how amazing it felt to kiss him. Every nerve in her body was on edge, aching from how badly she wanted all of him. She gripped the front of his robes tightly in her fists, pulling him as close to her body as she could as she parted her legs. She curled on around his hips and pressed her center against him. The feel of his erection pushing into her made a moan sound from her throat.

He seemed to notice it at the same time but despite how badly she was begging for him to use it, Kakashi took a few quick steps back. He covered his mouth with the palm of his hand and drew in deep, shuddering breaths. Sakura stayed still, afraid that if she moved even an inch, he would run away. In the end, it didn’t matter.

Kakashi turned away and started to flee. She reached for him, grabbing a bit of his sleeve to stop him from leaving. “Kakashi, please, don’t--”

He wrenched his arm free, shaking his head. Without another word, or even a glance back at her, he continued his escape as if he couldn’t get away from her fast enough. The cool air surrounded her in his sudden absence. It touched her heated lips and made her shiver. She could only stand there between the tombs, watching until he disappeared around the corner of the church building. And once he was gone, Sakura had never felt so vile, wretched, and alone.

* * *

 

 

AN- I didn't edit this chapter. Too anxious to post it.


	10. Hatred

* * *

 

***Unholy***

****Chapter 10: Hatred****

****

 

 

* * *

 

She hadn’t shown up at the clinic the next week. Kakashi knew it was for the best, that the last thing he needed was to see her after what had happened between them. But, he couldn’t help feeling disappointed that he couldn’t look out the window of his office and see her pink ponytail swishing back and forth over her shoulders as she worked. Every week for the past month, he had watched her, knowing he had much more important things to attend to. He couldn’t help it, though. There was something about her that made it impossible for him to ignore. And now, she was gone. He didn’t even know who had replaced her. It wasn’t Sakura and that was all he cared about. 

 

A part of him wondered if the other nurses noticed his absence today while the rest of him couldn’t care less. Being out there without her was the last thing he wanted to do. He sat in the chair behind his desk, knowing he had a growing list of things to do but he couldn’t bring himself to do much of anything except mope. His whole body felt fidgety, leg bouncing against the chair while his fingers tapped across his knee impatiently. What was he even waiting for? She wasn’t there and she wasn’t going to magically appear in his office just because he was desperate to see her again. 

 

Kakashi sighed heavily and stood from his chair, crossing the office to the window situated between two bookcases. The blinds were drawn and curtains closed, letting no natural light in. He stared at the window, knowing that just beyond the wall and out in the yard, was the clinic she was supposed to be working. Why wasn’t she here?

 

He wasn’t stupid. He knew it was because he had kissed her and though he knew it was what she had wanted, what they  _ both _ had wanted, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had done something wrong. He ducked his head and swallowed tightly, wishing he could pick up the phone to call and check on her. It was possible that she didn’t even want to talk to him. If she did, she would be here.

 

It shouldn’t matter either way. The last thing he needed to do was be near her, especially when doing so had proven to be a very bad idea in the past few weeks. Every time she came near him, he found it harder and harder to stop himself from giving in to temptation. He had tried to look to God for guidance, begging Him to give Kakashi strength to resist. So far, not even God could keep her away from him. No amount of scripture could stop these thoughts. No amount of praying could keep him from wanting her. She was a force to be reckoned with and Kakashi was afraid that he was more than willing to give into her. 

  
  
  


He closed his eyes and saw her face behind his eyelids. It was so clear in his mind that she could have been standing right in front of him. The fact that she wasn’t made him feel...numb. He didn’t want the last thing between them being a kiss that left them both confused and hurt. He wished he hadn’t left her alone in the cemetery, wished he had stayed and talked to her about what they were feeling. 

 

It wouldn’t have made much of a difference, he was sure. Even now, after spending a week dwelling on what he could possibly be feeling, he still couldn’t put it into words. He was confused, enchanted, obsessed. Each night, he laid awake with his guilt eating its way through him and every morning, he woke up with her on his mind, sure that he would be willing to do it all over again if he had the choice. His thoughts were a constant whirlwind of confusion in his mind and it was beginning to take a toll on his duties. 

 

There was only one thing he was certain of, though. He had to see her again.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Sakura closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wishing her fingers would stop trembling as she tapped them impatiently along the counter top. It had been several days since the incident in the cemetery but she wasn’t over it. She doubted she would ever get over it. He had  _ kissed _ her. And she had tasted everything he had been feeling for her. It was validation for all the paranoid thoughts she had been having since the day she had met him but it left a bad taste in her mouth to know the truth.

 

A part of her wished they could just go back to the way things were before. 

 

At least before they had ever kissed, they were talking to one another. 

 

Sakura gave a heavy sigh out of her nose and pursed her lips tightly. The only reason they weren’t exactly talking to one another right now was because she had called in sick for the volunteer clinic yesterday. But, what else was she supposed to do? There was no way she could stand there for 8 hours, handing out supplies and faking smiles and concern for people when all she could think about was how badly he must be hurting. And that it was all her fault. Every time she closed her eyes, there he was, begging God to forgive him the moment before he kissed her. And every night, she would lay awake in bed, dreaming of how wonderful it had felt to have his lips against hers, his hands on her body and feeling him pressing hard into her. 

 

The microwave sitting on the counter beeped, telling her that the frozen burrito she had bought from the vending machine was ready. For a moment, Sakura stood still, staring at the digital time blinking on the front panel of the microwave. The smell of the over cooked burrito was making her stomach groan in protest. Food had been the last thing on her mind the past few days.

 

Voices from the hallway beyond the break room broke through her daze and she blinked, pulling open the microwave door to snatch the piping hot tortilla from the plate. She wrapped it in a paper towel and took a seat at the round table behind her, not making an effort to eat it just yet. Outside, the sound of a group of women was getting closer and Sakura closed her eyes, hoping they would walk on by. But, luck was definitely not on her side tonight.

 

Tomoko strolled into the break room with two older nurses by her side. They took one look at Sakura sitting alone at the table and dropped their voices to whispers. It didn’t matter. It still made the skin across Sakura’s shoulders crawl to hear them. She knew the best thing to do would be to grab her pathetic excuse for dinner and eat it outside, or anywhere away from here. But, she didn’t have the strength to make the effort.

 

Taking a bite out of the corner of the burrito, Sakura grimaced. It was still cold, though the middle seemed to be as hot as lava. She spit the bite back out into the napkin and tossed it into the trash across the room. 

 

“So,” Tomoko started, raising her voice to get Sakura’s attention, “who’s going to volunteer next week at the bum clinic? I hear a spot just opened up.” The woman leaned a hip against the counter and from the corner of her eye, Sakura could see she was staring right at her. Perfect. Just what she needed to make her life sink that much further into hell. 

 

_ Don’t give in, Sakura _ , she told herself.  _ That’s exactly what she wants.  _

 

“Working with the homeless?” One of the other women said with her lip curled in disgust. “It’s bad enough we have to deal with them when they come here. There’s no way I’m wasting my day with a bunch of stinky drug addicts.” She wasn’t one of Sakura’s nurses, usually working the weekend night shift in the geriatric wing. And because she didn’t work with her, the woman should have considered herself lucky that Sakura wasn’t her direct supervisor. If she was even the slightest bit hungry before, hearing them speak like that had turned her stomach in disgust.

 

Sakura stood from the table and hurried to dump her uneaten dinner in the trash. There was no way she would be able to listen to much more of this, not while keeping her mouth shut, that was for sure. But, before she could rush from the break room, Tomoko stepped in front of the door. “I didn’t see your name for next week, Sakura. Why is that?”

 

“I’m busy.”

 

With a snort, the woman rolled her dark eyes and shook the hair from her plump, punchable face. Sakura stuffed her fists into the front pockets of her top, keeping them tightly balled just in case. “Right, because you’ve always had such a busy life before,” the woman said.

 

“It’s not really any of your business, Tomoko,” Sakura replied, making sure every word dripped with acid that she wished could burn the woman. She pushed past her round frame and sighed, her body relaxing at the feeling of being free from the break room and the toxic group of women inside. But, she didn’t get far.

 

“I just find it funny how you’re so suddenly against volunteering. Especially after sneaking away with a certain  _ someone  _ last week.”

 

The blood in Sakura’s veins ran cold and her steps slowed to a stop in the hallway. She stared straight ahead at the first floor waiting room sitting at the end of the hall as it blurred out of focus and a faint ringing grew louder in her ears. Her heart raced, pounding against each pulse point on her body like a hammer. Slowly, she turned on her heel to face the woman once again. “What did you say?”

 

“From what I’ve heard, you disappeared for a bit with that priest and when you came back, you seemed…” Tomoko trailed off, smirking down into her cup of coffee. She lifted her eyes and met Sakura’s, her gaze hateful and malicious. “ _ Distracted _ .” 

 

She had to stop herself from reaching over and slapping the coffee out of her pudgy hands, keeping her fists tight in her pockets. All of the calm, reassuring thoughts she told herself earlier completely flew out of her mind and in their place was a blind fury. It crept up her spine, slowly burning across her body. “I fail to see how that’s any of your business.”

 

“Oh, it definitely is my business when the lead nurse sneaks away for a cemetery rendezvous with a priest. What would Shizune think about her pet being caught up in such a scandal?” Tomoko’s threats had the other two women snickering into their cups of coffee. Whether they knew the truth or not, Sakura didn’t care. All she wanted in that moment was to slam her fist into all three of their noses. 

 

She pulled her hands out of her pockets and stepped closer to Tomoko, their chests touching as Sakura stared down into her beady, dark eyes. The thought of this bitch having spies on the volunteer team was almost as infuriating as what she was accusing Sakura of. It was clear that Tomoko held a deep grudge ever since she was passed over for the promotion of lead nurse but to stoop this low was unreal. 

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura could see the other two nurses set the cups down and close in on them, ready to come to the aid of their friend in case it was needed. With a scoff, Sakura lifted an eyebrow at the woman. “Maybe if you learned to keep your nose out of other people’s business, you would be lead nurse right now, Tomoko.” The anger was immediately evident in the woman’s glare and seeing it flash so suddenly made Sakura smirk. “Keep your fat ass away from me from now on or I’ll make your life a living hell. Got it?”

 

“I’m not afraid of you, Haruno,” Tomoko spat nastily and though her words were confident and menacing, she took a step back to surround herself with her lackeys. She folded her arms over her chest and gave Sakura a scathing look up and down her body. “You talk a big game but you’re not the only one who can suffer from this. It would be a damn shame for such a handsome priest to lose everything for a nasty bitch like you--”

 

Before she could even  _ think _ about stopping herself, Sakura lashed out. The sharp slap of her hand across Tomoko’s face echoed in the small break room and for a moment, all four women stood in stunned silence. Immediately, Sakura regretted it and she recoiled her hand as if touching Tomoko had burned her. Clutching her face, the woman scoffed in shock. She shook her head with a tight, sour smile. “You’re going to be very sorry for that, Haruno. I promise you.”

 

Sakura turned and hurried out of the break room, not because she was afraid of Tomoko’s threats or retaliation. She could care less about that. What she did care about was making sure she didn’t lose her job and that Kakashi wouldn’t be hurt because of her stupid actions. She had to talk to Shizune, explain to her what had happened and that it wouldn’t ever again. It was a high possibility that her recent promotion would be stripped away from her but, if that was the worst of the punishment, she’d be alright. She just needed to explain herself. And after that, she had to talk to Kakashi.

* * *

 

 

AN- Hmm...Sakura seems to have a lot of hate in her heart....maybe she should go to confession and repent for all of these sins.


	11. Absolution

* * *

 

_***Unholy** _

_**Chapter 11: Absolution**_

 

__

_This chapter is dedicated to[Mumma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mummapaintstheblues/pseuds/mummapaintstheblues), one of my lovely, wonderful, inspiring sister wives who helped me a LOT with this chapter. Thank you so much, boo! <3 _

 

* * *

 

 

The knock on Sakura’s door early Saturday morning pulled her sharply out of sleep, leaving her in a hazy confusion. She sat up and looked down at the alarm clock on her bedside table. According to the digital numbers, it had only been two hours since she had managed to drift off! Who the hell was knocking on her door? They must have had a death wish.

 

Angrily, she jerked the sheets from her body and stormed out of her bedroom. Just as she crossed to the front room of her apartment, whoever the hell decided to wake her up at such an ungodly hour started knocking once again. Sakura jerked the front door open, opening her mouth to scream a mouthful of curses at the person. One look at them and she quickly clamped her mouth shut again, nearly stumbling back. 

 

“What are you doing here?” 

 

Ino blinked down at her, putting both of her hands on her hips in exasperation. “Seriously? I had to find out from the other nurses about what happened!”

 

Oh.  _ That’s  _ what she was doing here. Sakura sighed and threw her hands up in defeat, turning on her heel so Ino could come in behind her. The door shut with a soft click and Sakura dropped onto the arm of her couch. She should have known she would be getting a visit like this. With another heavy sigh, she turned to look up at her friend, still standing akimbo as she waited for an explanation. “Well? Are you going to tell me what the hell happened?”

 

“I thought the other nurses told you,” Sakura pointed out with a scoff. It was clear by the look in Ino’s eyes that she found nothing amusing in the situation. “Right. I just lost my cool.”

 

“That’s an understatement. Niko from admission heard you held a knife to Tomoko’s throat.” 

 

Sakura’s eyes widened and she had to reach out to grip the back of the couch to keep from slipping off the arm. Rumors tended to get out of hand around the halls of the hospital but she never guessed it would spread  _ this  _ fast. Niko didn’t even work the same shift. How did she find out so quickly and why was she telling people obvious lies? Would anyone actually believe Sakura would threaten someone with a knife at work? The thought made her roll her eyes, and she fought the dull ache of a migraine creeping up the back of her skull. “Seriously? You know Niko’s a drama queen. I did not hold a knife to anyone’s throat. I slapped Tomoko.” 

 

Ino sniffed and took a seat on the other end of the couch, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. “I heard that too. Shizune wouldn’t tell me anything, of course. She’s tight lipped as ever and expects us to continue on like nothing happened.”

 

“As do I,” Sakura said with a shrug though Ino wasn’t having it. 

 

With one arch of a blonde eyebrow, Sakura could tell that was the last thing Ino planned to do. There was no point beating around the bush any longer. It was better to just tell her exactly what had happened. But, that posed another question. What all should she tell her best friend? It wasn’t like Ino wouldn’t believe Tomoko was being an insufferable bitch and deserved to be slapped. But, there wasn’t much that Sakura let get under her skin and affect her like this. And if the rumors of the incident were already flying, then she was almost certain Tomoko would let everyone know exactly  _ why. _

 

Sighing, Sakura sank down onto the couch cushion and pulled a pillow into her lap. She pushed the hair from her face with one hand and held the other up, not sure where to start. “They cornered me in the break room last night. Tomoko started on her usual bullshit and accused me of some pretty messed up things.”

 

“Like sleeping with that priest?” 

 

Sakura’s stomach clenched tightly and she hugged the pillow harder against herself. So, Tomoko didn’t waste anytime spewing her lies, as she had suspected. For a moment, Sakura regretted not doing a bit more damage to the woman’s face. God knew a good beating would have really shut her up.

 

Shifting on the couch, Sakura tried not to let Ino see the look of dread come across her. She knew it was best to just shake the rumor off like it was nothing. “Yeah, basically. She pretty much told me straight out that she hates me because I was promoted over her and that she clearly doesn’t care how low she will stoop to make me pay.”

 

Ino blinked and crossed her arms over her chest. “So, you didn’t sleep with him?”

 

“No!” Not that she hadn’t wanted to. God, it was almost all she had been thinking of since the moment he had introduced himself. But, Ino didn’t need to know that. “He’s a  _ priest.  _ I’m well aware of his vows of celibacy, okay?” Sakura flung the pillow to the opposite end of the couch and stood up, making her way into the small kitchen. 

 

Ino followed her, leaning a shoulder against the door frame as she watched her make a pot of coffee. Since it was obvious that she wouldn’t be going back to sleep anytime soon, Sakura decided to give up on the fantasy of getting a good 8 hours of rest. She scooped out enough grinds for a full pot and turned the machine on, turning to face her best friend. The look on her face was somewhat concerning, as if she had doubts to what Sakura was telling her. “What?” She urged. 

 

Ino looked down at her fingers. “I just don’t want you getting caught up in something like that. It’s bad enough you’re on suspension for the next two weeks.”

 

Ugh. Just the mention of two entire weeks with no work and no pay made the headache began to throb harder along the base of Sakura’s skill. Luckily, she had enough money in her savings to make up for the lack of paychecks but, just barely. This little stunt she pulled would cost her the meager amount she had actually managed to save over the last few months. 

 

Frowning, Sakura turned back to the coffee pot and pulled it off the burner. She snagged two cups from the cabinet and filled them before handing one off to Ino. “I’m not getting caught up in anything,” she reassured her. “I was only with him the other day because he was showing me the grave of one of my family members. If I had known Tomoko had a fucking spy on my team, I would have been more cautious.” 

 

Which was the truth. Just thinking about all of the things she had done under the noses of Tomoko’s spy made her feel sick to her stomach. She wasn’t worried that anyone had seen the kiss they had shared. From between those mausoleums, they had been pretty secluded. It was all the other times she had been around him. All those days she had ate lunch with him on the front steps and spoke with him anytime he came around...it was foolish of her to think she wouldn’t have been noticed. Could they see how desperate she felt when she was around him? Was it obvious how badly she wanted him? If they could see it, could he?

 

Well, did that even matter anymore? Surely he could have tasted it on her lips and felt how desperate she had been to touch him. Even now, the memories of it made her fingers tremble around the warmth of her coffee mug. Sakura was suddenly aware that Ino was talking and she quickly tried to catch up. 

 

“But, I told them they were being ridiculous. Now,” she said, setting her mug down on the counter before crossing her arms over her chest. “Tell me what happened last Christmas with Lee!”

 

Several hours later, Sakura found herself alone once again after having told her best friend about the rather embarrassing Christmas incident. It felt good to finally tell someone and laugh about it, after keeping it a secret for so long. But, even though sharing laughs and gossip over a few cups of coffee had lifted her spirits, Sakura couldn’t help the anxious feeling creeping up her spine. 

 

She glanced at the clock as she shut the door behind Ino and sighed. It was only 4 in the afternoon and though she was exhausted, she knew sleep would be the last thing her mind would need right now. What she needed more was to talk to Kakashi, to know how he was, what he was thinking and whether or not he ever wanted to see her again. Not seeing him or speaking to him in over a week was taking its toll on her. She was itching for another taste of him, even if it was something as innocent as listening to his sermon or seeing him walk the grounds of the parish.

 

For a few minutes, Sakura stood in the kitchen of her apartment, chewing on the nail of her thumb and anxiously tapping her foot against the tile floor. She didn’t know if she wanted to bolt out the door and go find him or try something a bit less direct. Deciding on the latter, Sakura snatched the phone off the kitchen counter and punched the phone number to his office. On the second ring, someone picked up but not who she had been expecting.

 

“Church of the Holy Virgin, how may I direct your call?

 

At first, Sakura couldn’t speak. She hadn’t been expecting to hear a woman’s voice pick up Kakashi’s phone. The jealousy that surged unexpectedly surprised her almost as much as the woman did. “Hello?” She prompted, snapping Sakura back to reality.

 

“I-I’m looking for Father Hatake?” She shut her eyes, thankful that she hadn’t accidentally called him by his first name. That would have been rather hard to explain. 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, dear. He’s out of the office today. Would you like me to leave him a message?”

 

“No, that’s alright. I was just hoping to talk to him about something.” Sakura started to take the phone away from her ear to end the call when the woman spoke up once more. 

 

“Well, I do know he’ll be doing confession for most of the night if you need to speak to him.”

 

One pink eyebrow slowly arched up Sakura’s forehead as her head instantly conjured an image of him sitting in the confessional booth, hidden behind the mesh screen. It made her lips part and her pulse race. In the back of her mind, she knew she had to answer the woman but couldn’t bring herself to say a word. Without a goodbye, she hung the phone up and stared into the living room, looking at nothing in particular as the wheels in her mind spun. 

 

On one hand, it would be rude to disturb him while he had to perform his duties as a priest. He didn’t need her showing up, interrupting him while he was trying to work. Besides, there were others who actually needed to confess their sins and needed the absolution. 

 

Yet, on the other hand, it would be the perfect place to apologize to him, to tell him she would understand if he needed her to leave him alone and never speak to him again. It would be easier to end whatever this was they had together when she couldn’t see his face. Though, that would utterly break her heart, she needed to tell him it was alright. And doing that face to face wouldn’t be such a good idea. Especially since the last time she was alone with him, they hadn’t been able to keep themselves apart. Talking to him with a barrier between them seemed to be the best option. 

 

Besides, after saying what she would need to tell him, she wouldn’t want to look him in the eye, wouldn’t want to see him looking at her with the same disappointment and revulsion as everyone else had.

 

* * *

 

  
  


“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,” the man behind the screen started with a heavy sigh, sitting back on the bench as he lazily signed the cross over his body. From the opposite side of the mesh screen, Kakashi could see the man through the obstruction. He was a regular in the confessional booth but hardly ever attended mass. It seemed that he didn’t understand that one without the other was a bit fruitless but Kakashi knew it was better that he came for confessional than not at all. “It’s been, oh, I don’t know, two weeks since my last confession?” 

 

“The Lord be in your heart and upon your lips that you may truly and humbly confess your sins,” Kakashi said with his hands folded over his lap and sat back against the panel of wood behind him, fighting the urge to let out a sigh. For the past hour, a dull ache had been throbbing at the back of his neck and though no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, Kakashi didn’t think he would be able to any longer. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, listening as closely to the man as he could. 

 

“I confess to you and God that for the past several months I’ve been a bit jealous of my brother. He got a promotion before Christmas and he’s always bringing his sports car around to show off...” He went further into detail about his jealousy and Kakashi tried to focus on what he was saying. But, it went in one ear and out the other and his frustration only amplified the throbbing ache in his head. 

 

Luckily, this particular sinner made his confessions short, sweet and to the point. He was no stranger to it all and had summed up his sins rather quickly. Kakashi leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees as he bowed his head to pray for him. “Our Lord and Father, through the grace of the spirit, absolve you of your sins.”

 

“Thanks be to God,” The man said, already rising to his feet. He sniffed and threw the curtain aside, disappearing not even a second later. 

 

In the silence that followed, Kakashi let his head hang, thankful for the moment of quiet he had to himself. He had been avoiding any time alone for the past several days, knowing if he was left to his own devices, his mind would turn to the one person it had been begging to think about. Every time he closed his eyes, he would see Sakura. The way she had looked up at him, her eyes heavy with desire, lips parted as she anticipated his kiss. It drove him crazy. 

 

He tried to stay busy with tasks around the parish, thrusting himself into any project that came his way to distract him. In his mind, if he stayed busy, the guilt wouldn’t be able to creep up on him. And though it had faded some in the last few days, Kakashi knew it was just laying in wait, abiding it's time until he was vulnerable again. Around every corner, he feared it would be in the shadows like a monster, ready to sink its teeth into his heart. 

 

But, the truth was, he didn’t feel guilty for kissing her. There was nothing more in the world he wanted than to kiss her again and given the chance, he was afraid he would do just that. What he was truly ashamed of was this fact. It had occurred to him late one night as he thought of her and what he would do if she had been laying next to him. He knew what he  _ should _ have wanted to do. He knew what he  _ should  _ feel. But, it was the complete opposite of what he knew he would do. Every night as the shame and guilt ripped through him, his body was begging for her and the thought of never seeing her again was eating him up inside.

 

Outside the confessional booth, the front door of the church opened on creaking hinges and Kakashi sat up, rubbing his palm across his mouth with a sigh. There was no way he could sit through another confession. He knew it was wrong of him, something else to add to the growing list of why he should feel guilty, but he knew for his own well being he needed to send them away. 

 

The curtain on the other side of the screen shifted and Kakashi shook his head, opening his mouth to apologize. A flash of a pink ponytail caught his attention and he quickly clamped his mouth shut once more. He blinked, unsure if he was seeing things, imagining her when she wasn’t there. Upon opening his eyes, Kakashi could still see her. She sat back on the bench and through the screen, he could see her wringing her hands nervously over her lap. 

 

He didn’t know what to do. His body was tense, heart racing, and thoughts going completely silent in anticipation. Swallowing tightly, Kakashi sat back against the wood panel behind him and pursed his lips between his teeth to keep himself from saying anything. For several seconds that passed by achingly slow, they sat in silence, the tension between them so thick it was suffocating.

 

“Kakashi,” she whispered, the sound of her voice sinking through his body like a drug. “I’m not here to confess my sins or seek forgiveness. But, I need to talk to you and I think this is best way for what I have to say.”

 

To say he was scared was an understatement. He was absolutely terrified; terrified of what she would possibly say, of how desperate he felt to reach out for her. He swallowed again and nodded, though he was sure she couldn’t see him from where he sat. “Alright,” he whispered back to her. 

 

She sniffed and pushed her hands over her hair, smoothing it back to her ponytail. “Last night at work, I struck one of my coworkers. They put me on suspension for a couple of weeks so I won’t be volunteering at the clinic until I can go back to work.”

 

“Why did you strike your coworker?” 

 

Sakura sighed and sat back, looking up toward the single bulb dimly glowing above her on the side of the booth. He saw her shrug her shoulder. “The things she was saying just got to me. She already hates me and makes my life a living hell most nights and I just couldn’t take it anymore. She sounded just like these three girls who used to bully me when I was fifteen years old. They would stand by the bus stop in the mornings, waiting for me to walk by on my way to school. They tormented me for months, relentlessly teasing me until they decided to use their fists to hurt me instead of their words.” 

 

Kakashi had slid to the edge of the bench, watching her through the screen. She wasn’t looking at him, keeping her face tilted up toward the top of the booth, eyes closed as she spoke. “I didn’t look like them, though we were all the same age. They called me a boy, stripped me of my uniform and spit on me, laughed at my flat chest. When they got boyfriends, I thought it would end but it only got worse. They beat me up in front of them, like I was their god damn entertainment. I was powerless against them for nearly an entire year. And then, something in me snapped. Do you know what I did to retaliate?”

 

He shook his head, heart hammering like a drum inside his chest. There was so many different feelings warring inside him, fighting for dominance. He felt pity, anger, and horror at what she said and above all else, the desire to reach out and comfort her, protect her from this pain was the strongest. Instead, he stayed quiet. “No, what did you do?” He asked quietly.

 

“I wanted them to hurt in ways I never did. I wanted them to feel as miserable and tormented by the very thought of me. I tracked their boyfriends down one afternoon and I fucked them. All three of them. I let them record it and I made sure to show the girls the next morning on my way to school. The look on their faces was worth the beating I got. And that’s not even the worst part about it though,” she paused to laugh, the sound half choked in the back of her mouth as if she were fighting the urge to cry. 

 

All thoughts and feelings ceased inside Kakashi’s mind. He felt numb, felt defeated and confused by what she was saying. Sakura turned to him now, putting her hands on the screen as if she were reaching for him. “I liked it, Kakashi. I liked the power it gave me, I liked the things they said to me and what they did to me. And after all of the counseling, all of the meetings with my priests and consults with the headmaster at my school, all the grief my parents went through, I never felt bad about it. Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

 

He shook his head, unable to even utter a syllable. She seemed to notice, meeting his eyes through the spaces between the mesh pattern. There was a sadness in her gaze, as if she had expected this exact reaction from him, as if she had seen it a hundred times before. He tried not to let her think he was disgusted with her, because he wasn’t. Trying to process everything she was saying to him was just difficult for him in that moment, especially when he was still wanting nothing more than to touch and hold her. 

 

“I’m telling you this so you’ll know the truth. I’m a whore, Kakashi. I’m tainted and unclean and you don’t deserve to have me ruin your entire life. I’m not worth it. As much as I miss you, and as much as I want to see you and be near you, I understand if you don’t want that.” Sakura sniffed and moved away from the wall between them, letting out a deep breath that Kakashi knew she had been holding in. It was a breath of relief, as if this confession had been weighing heavily over her for a very long time. “I don’t want to taint you,” she whispered. 

 

Kakashi scrubbed his palm over his face once more and sat back, blinking as he struggled to find the right words to say to her. He knew that God would want him to try to lead her back to her faith, to show her the righteous path but leave it at that. What her soul needed was to be led back to God, and for him to be nothing more to her than her priest. He knew that’s what he  _ should _ do. But, that wasn’t what he was going to do. 

 

“Sakura,” he said before she could stand to her feet and disappear out of his life for good. As she turned to look at him through the screen, Kakashi’s heart was racing faster than it ever had. He watched her lower herself back down onto the bench and turn toward him, her green eyes blurry with tears. “You’re not a whore and I don’t care how unclean you think you are. You are worth more than you give yourself credit for. I don’t want you out of my life, Sakura.”

 

He watched her swipe a tear away from her cheek and he cursed the damn wall between them. He wanted to comfort her properly. It broke his heart to see her in so much pain. “You can’t save me.”

 

“I don’t want to save you. I just don’t want,” he paused, his throat tightening around the words he was terrified to speak. “I don’t want to lose you.”

 

“You don’t?”

 

“No,” he breathed, pressing a palm against the screen. “I told you before, I think you and I were brought together for a reason. I meant it then, and I mean it now.” 

 

Her hand slid up to his, their skin touching through the hollow spaces between the mesh. It felt so good to touch her again, even if it was obstructed by thin strips of wood. She lowered herself onto her knees, closing her eyes as she leaned her forehead against the screen. “I should confess, though.” Her eyes opened, lifting to catch his gaze. The intensity behind her stare nearly destroyed the small part of his thoughts telling him to keep his distance, that he would regret this later. It was still there in the back of his mind, but it was much quieter now. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I don’t think I would be able to stop myself from doing something we might both regret the next time we’re together.” 

 

It was cruel to hear her confess something like that, especially when he was so torn between what he should do, and what he wanted to do. Kakashi closed his eyes and dragged in a shaking breath. “Do you regret--” He couldn’t bring himself to say the words, as if speaking them would remind his guilt to come bounding back to life. But, he wanted to know, was dying to know, if she regretting kissing him. 

 

Sakura seemed to know what he was intending to say and she laughed softly. “Do I regret kissing you? No, but I regret making you feel guilty about it. I regret making you scared. I never want to see you look at me again the way you did.”

 

“I apologize,” Kakashi said quietly, unaware that he had even looked at her in any particular way. The whole thing had happened so fast, it was a blur in his memory now. All he could remember was how delicious her tongue had tasted against his. “It wasn’t because I was angry at you. I was only angry at myself for letting it happen.”

 

“Do  _ you _ regret kissing me?” 

 

He opened his eyes, studying her through the slots of the screen. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to push it away and kiss her again through the wall. That might be hard to explain though, why the screen was broken out. Instead, Kakashi sat back on the bench and nodded toward the dark curtain enclosing her in the booth. “Come here,” he whispered, catching the look of dark desire that passed quickly over her face at his words. She was on her feet in a heartbeat, throwing the curtain aside.

 

His fingers trembled as he reached for the latch on the inside of the door, managing at last to unlock the door and push it open. He was relieved that the church behind her was absolutely empty. It was rather late and he prayed that the hour would keep anyone else from coming through the door. 

 

Sakura pushed the door back and stood before him. Her frame was so small in the doorway and he wanted to reach for her and scoop her into his arms. She didn’t give him time to make a move, stepping inside the middle of the confessional booth until her knees were between his and the door was pulled shut behind her. 

 

Kakashi stared up at her, his lips dry and begging for moisture. He quickly darted his tongue out to wet them, the slight movement catching Sakura’s attention. He knew he had to speak before he no longer had the opportunity. Kakashi took her hands, studying how small they were in comparison to his. “Sakura,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I can’t give you what you want.” His eyes lifted to hers and his breath caught in his throat at the look in her gaze. It immediately heated his flesh to the point where he was nearly sweating. 

 

“I want you in any way I can have you.” 

 

There was no hope for him after that. All of his resolve crumbled to dust and Kakashi couldn’t stop himself from pulling her down onto his lap. She quickly put her knees on the bench on either side of him and sat across his legs, the weight of her body pressing down onto him just as he had imagined it would feel. He could smell her shampoo mixed with the faint, salty scent of sweat between them and it was absolutely intoxicating. 

 

Kakashi tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her to him, their lips meeting in the middle. It was just as he had remembered, from the feel of her soft mouth to the taste of it on his tongue. Fear gripped him with icy fingers, his entire body trembling beneath hers. It was exhilarating and he was already breathless. 

 

Like last time, Sakura was in control, tilting her head to the side so she could fit better against his mouth. She took his hands in hers and brought them around her waist, pushing them down her sides until they reached the swell of her hips. Kakashi dug his fingers into the material of her jeans and groaned at the soft flesh beneath it. He used his grip to bring her closer to him and the sudden feel of her center pressing into his lap made his eyes widen. 

 

She pulled away from his lips just a fraction of an inch and curled the hair at the side of his head around her fingers. “Are you alright?” She whispered, sending electric shivers across his body. He nodded and kissed her again, slower this time. 

 

There was still hunger behind it, but the urgency to feel her lips against his had faded. Kakashi savored every second of it, trying to memorize the way her lips moved against his, the way her fingers played with his hair, and the smell of her. God, she smelled so good, so intoxicating. It made him dizzier with every breath he inhaled of her. 

 

Sakura moved her hands between them, pulling at the zipper of her jacket until it came free and fell away from her shoulders. Though he loved the feel of her hips beneath his fingers, he moved his hands from his hold around her backside and slid them under her shirt. She trembled beneath his touch as he felt his way up her back and to her shoulders, finding no evidence of a bra. Knowing she was so exposed beneath her shirt made that urgency flare back to life. He needed to touch more of her, kiss every square inch of her body. He could never get enough. 

 

Despite how terrified he was, Kakashi slid his hands around her ribs and met his palm to the underside of her breast. It fit perfectly in his grip and he brushed his thumb across her nipple. Sakura shuddered over him, making a small moan in the back of her throat that drove him crazy. He touched her nipple again and she writhed over his lap, rolling her hips back over his. He wondered if she could feel how hard he was beneath her. The next time she moved over him, her center pushed into his cock and he moaned against the smile on her lips. She could definitely feel him.

 

Between them, Sakura’s hands moved to the hem of her T-shirt, pulling the fabric up around her ribs. She pulled away from Kakashi’s lips and sat up to lift her shirt completely off of her body but he stopped her with a gently touch of his hands over hers. She blinked down at him in confusion and he felt the heat of embarrassment touch his cheeks. “I’ve never…” He didn’t quite know how to tell her that he’s never seen a naked woman before, especially not one that was sitting on his lap. And though he wanted nothing more than to see her,  _ all  _ of her, he didn’t think he could cross that boundary just yet. 

 

“It’s alright.” Sakura smiled and smoothed her shirt back down around her waist. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. Do you want to stop?”

 

Kakashi shook his head but knew it was for the best that they did, for the sake of his health and eternal soul. If his heart beat any harder he feared he’d pass out. And despite how he felt now, he knew it wouldn’t be long before the monster of regret would rear its ugly head. Sakura seemed to sense his apprehension and she smiled sweetly, leaning forward to rest her head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her frame, holding her close to him as he closed his eyes. This was something he wanted to savor as well. 

 

Having her so close to him, sharing so much with him, made Kakashi realize just how lonely he had been the past few years. And though there were so many conflicting thoughts racing through his mind at that moment, he couldn’t help but hope that maybe he wouldn’t be lonely anymore.

 

* * *

 

AN- Well, this gave me some trouble, I'll admit. I was stuck on which direction to take this fic since this was supposed to just be a one shot. But, I've got it all figured out now. :D Thank you for your patience and all the comments and kudos! I adore you all! <3 

 


	12. Wicked

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

Steam rose slowly from the tub, curling through the small bathroom and filling the space rather quickly. The mirror hanging above the sink was already fogged up and Sakura used her hand to swipe through it. She studied her reflection, bringing the same hand to her face to touch her lips and the pink stain across her cheeks that hadn’t faded yet. Anytime she thought back to the way Kakashi had pulled her into the confessional booth, the way he had felt beneath her, the heat would swell inside her again until she could feel it touch every square inch of her body.

Though she knew a cold shower was probably what she truly needed, she wasn’t ready to let go of the warmth just yet. She wanted to keep it around her like a secret, knowing there would be a time when she had to hide it away again. She turned away from the mirror and reached down to twist the warm water knob. The rush of water faded into a trickle that still dripped from the faucet as she slid her feet into the heated bath.

There was a sharp sting from the temperature, but nothing that she didn’t welcome. With a soft sigh, she sank into the water and let her head rest against the back of the tub. The oils she had sprinkled into the tub were bubbling up to the surface, streaking through the water like tiny iridescent rivers. Sakura swirled her fingers through them and bent her knees so that the tops of them were sticking out of the water.

She closed her eyes and tried to piece together every detail of her night like a puzzle. It was easier to recall the more intense things she had experienced. Kissing Kakashi was something that she didn’t think she’d ever be able to forget. But, the smaller things that she had been too enraptured by his lips to notice, the gentle way he touched her and held her to him, she was trying to replay them all in her mind.

The fear she had felt as she sat in the parking lot, watching that man walk out of the church felt like such a foreign emotion. Why had she been so afraid? Everything he had said to her and did to her afterward completely clouded all the anxiety and panic. And though his hands on her skin and his lips on hers had felt phenomenal, nothing compared to his acceptance of her. It felt better than anything else she had ever felt. So far, anyway.

She was sure that if they were able to continue this little game they had started, she would experience things she had only dreamt about before. And just trying to imagine it all happening with Kakashi made Sakura sink further down into the tub, submerging her head beneath the water like a baptism in all the wicked things to come.

* * *

 

The first few days of Sakura’s suspension from work were amazing. It was like she was taking a vacation and doing nothing but sitting alone in her apartment. She caught up on her sleeping, not dragging herself out of bed until the afternoon each day, took her time eating instead of rushing through her meals to get back to a busy shift in the Emergency Department. It was amazing. She had almost forgotten what being free felt like.

But, by Thursday, she couldn’t stop thinking about work and the fact that there was a whole new team of nurses setting up the clinic tent in the parking lot of Father Hatake’s church. The team would more than likely be made up of women and Sakura couldn’t help feeling jealous that they got to be there and see him when she was stuck at home eating ice cream in her pajamas.

And imagining Tomoko being there, in his presence, infuriated her to the point that she had to get out of bed. She couldn’t stand the thought of that bitch speaking to him, threatening him the way she had Sakura. It would slowly drive her crazy, though her plan of action probably proved that she had definitely gone insane.

Sakura dressed in a black zip up sweater with the hood pulled up around her head. Hiding behind a pair of dark sunglasses, she decided to just drive by the church, just to see if she could recognize Tomoko’s car. Halfway there, she talked herself out of it and turned around, knowing it would be difficult to explain if Kakashi happened to be outside and notice her car slowly creeping by. Besides, he would have no reason to even speak to that witch.

The rest of the afternoon passed by agonizingly slow. Once she got back to her apartment, Sakura decided to clean the place up, finished the pile of laundry that had been growing for the past two weeks, and even managed to cook herself a rather nice dinner. It was 6:30 when she sat down to eat it and after the first few bites, couldn’t bring herself to eat much more.

Which was fine, since her cell phone was ringing from the bedroom anyway.

Sakura abandoned the dinner at the kitchen table and hurried to where her phone was plugged up into the wall beside her bed. The number across the screen looked familiar but hadn’t been stored into her contacts. Just as the call ended, the realization of who it was hit her and she gasped. It was the church!

She leapt for the device and sighed in disappointment as the screen faded to show the missed call. Her fingers were shaking, stomach pinching tightly inside her as she stared down at the number. Had something happened? Had her fears come true? She swore that if Tomoko had threatened him that she would be sorry for ever sticking her fat nose where it didn’t belong.

Sakura sat back on her bed and tucked her her hair behind her ear, her thumb tapping on the last number that had called her. At the first ring, she sucked in a breath and held it, hoping that she was wrong, that he was just calling to check on her or to just chat. But, why would he call to chat? That was ridiculous.

She bounced her leg nervously, chewing the corner of her lip so hard that she was sure she’d have a bit of a bruise there if she didn’t stop. The fourth ring was cut off by a voice that made her leap to her feet. “Father Hatake.” How could he sound so good by just saying his own name?

“Hi,” she breathed, pressing a palm to her forehead. “Did you just call me? This is Sakura, by the way.”

He chuckled softly and she felt her entire body relax just a fraction. It felt so good to hear his voice. “I did call you. Hold on for just one second.” On the other end, she could hear him set the phone down and after a few seconds, a door shut with a soft thump. He was back before she could even miss him, though his voice had her grinning like a fool. “I’m sorry to disturb you at home.”

“You’re not disturbing me, at all.” She lowered herself back onto the bed. It felt rude not to ask him how he was or at least attempt to make small talk, but she was just so thrilled that he had called her that she could barely speak. “Is everything alright?”

Again, he laughed and Sakura could hear his chair creak. She pictured him leaning back in it, his hand raking through his hair. She wished she could see him and wondered if he would allow her to make a visit. “Everything’s fine. Today was thursday and it just felt...strange, somehow, not seeing you or talking to you.”

She collapsed back onto her bed, holding the phone tightly to her ear despite her palms sweating and she grinned up at the ceiling as if she were 15 again, talking to a boy for the first time. “Yeah, it was. I’m glad we’re talking now.”

“So am I.”

“How was everything today? I don’t even know who they got to cover for me.” Sakura rolled over onto her stomach and pulled a pillow to her chest. For a brief moment, she found herself wishing it was him and warmth colored her face a deep shade of pink. If he were there, in her bed, she wasn’t sure she could stop herself like she had inside his confessional booth. It had been a great feat of strength for her to stop herself that night. God knew how badly she had wanted to go further.

Kakashi sighed, bringing her attention back to reality. “It was fine. I’m not sure who was even here, to be honest. All I know is, it wasn’t you.”

Oh, why did he have to say things like that? He could already make her swoon with just a glance but when he said things like _that_ , she felt as if she could float to the ceiling. She gripped the edge of the mattress to keep herself still and bit her lip as she grinned. “It felt weird not being there and not seeing you. I miss our talks.” _You_ , she wanted to say. _I miss you._

“So do I. Though, I have to confess,” his voice lowered and she felt her pulse do the complete opposite. “I don’t think I would have wanted to talk if you had been here today.”

God, she hoped that was because he’d rather occupy his mouth with other delicious activities. The pink across her cheeks turned crimson and Sakura rolled onto her back, letting her hair hand off the edge of her bed as she stared up at the ceiling. “Oh, you’re making confessions to me, now?”

“So it would seem,” he laughed, the sound sending endless butterflies against the inside of her stomach. “But, be careful. The power could go to your head.”

A thousand filthy things ran through her head at that but, she kept them down and kept their flirting light for now. She didn’t want to scare him away by telling him exactly what she’d like to go to her head. “Well, I’ll balance it out by making a confession to you now.” His chair creaked again and she imagined him sitting up, leaning over his desk as he listened to her words, clearly intrigued. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot in the past few days.”

For a minute, he was quiet and Sakura hoped she hadn’t made him feel uncomfortable. She bit the inside of her lip and held her breath, waiting for him to respond. She heard him shift in his chair. “Is that all you wish to confess?” The sound of his voice, deep and practically purring in her ear, made her melt into her bed sheets.

She gripped a handful of them in her fist, trying not to lose focus. It was difficult not letting her hand drift between her legs, knowing that it had been almost three weeks since she had decided to give up masturbation for lent. Three weeks since she had felt any kind of release from all of this pent up tension. Any longer and she was afraid she was going to implode. “No. I’m afraid I have many things I need to confess to you.”

A small part of her felt guilty for playing along with this. It was his religion and she was using it like foreplay. But, God knew how wicked she was. This would do nothing but seal the deal for her mortal soul to burn for all eternity. If she ever did ask for forgiveness, it would only be for Kakashi’s sake. He spoke again, making her shiver. “I’m listening.”

She pulled her feet up onto the bed, bending her legs at the knees. Her fingers wanted nothing more than to sneak their way beneath the pair of panties that were already soaked by now but she kept her thighs clamped tightly together. “I think about you when I’m laying in bed at night.”

“Are these thoughts particularly sinful?”

If she didn’t know any better, she would think that he was using his religion as foreplay as well. This definitely made her feel the weight of guilt pressing down on her but, it wasn’t enough to make her stop. Not when she was aching to hear more of his voice saying such enticing things in her ear. “Yes, they are. And I’ve been having them since the first time I saw you.”

She would have sold her soul to the devil himself in that moment just to see Kakashi, to know whether he was wearing that black frock that she had been wanting to take off of him for weeks now, to know if his cock was pressing hard against it. “Tell me about them,” he said, nearly breathlessly, pulling her sharply from her imagination.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to,” she paused, trying to find the words. She didn’t want to scare him, making him uncomfortable or say anything that might make him want to end this with her. But, _God_ , the things she wanted to say might make _even her_ blush to hear them out loud. Before she could finish her thought, Kakashi interrupted.

“I’m sure. I need to know.”

Fuck the resolution she had made for Lent. There was no way she could listen to him say these things and _not_ touch herself. That in itself might have been blasphemy. Closing her eyes, Sakura spread her fingers across her lower belly and pushed them toward the band of her panties. “I think about you laying me down and kissing me.” She kept it tame just in case. “And how good it would feel to have your lips all over my body.”

“Where?”

She couldn’t be too sure, but something in his voice told Sakura that he was wanting to know exactly where for future reference. Or maybe, that was just what she was hoping for. If he did any of the things she had fantasized about, she would be thrilled. A mischievous smile curled at the corner of her lips and she dipped her panties beneath her panties, slipping past the strip of pink hair she kept nicely trimmed. “Exactly where I’m touching myself right now. Between my legs.”

She could hear his breath on the other end of the phone, quick and shallow. The little moan he made in the back of his throat sent a wave of fire through her body. She closed her eyes, sinking her finger into the slick folds that had been waiting for someone’s touch for the past few weeks. His touch was preferable but, Sakura figured they were a long way from being at that level. Though, she was surprised they were even doing what they were.

“And,” he started, taking a breath. “That’s where you want my mouth to be?”

His innocence was both endearing and a turn on. In the back of Sakura’s mind, the realization that she was going to have to show him what to do and how to do it sprang up. It made her bite her lip to keep from giggling. “Yes. I think about you tasting me on your tongue or your fingers pushing inside me.” As if they had a mind of their own, her own middle two fingers slid inside of her, drawing out a faint groan that she knew he had heard.

“Is that what you’re doing now, to yourself?”

“Mmhmm.” She clamped her mouth shut, pulling her fingers out slowly just to push them back inside her. They didn’t have quite the length or width she was desperate for at that moment, but she was prepared to take what she could get. “I wish it were you touching me instead.”

“So do I, Sakura.” Her name fit so well on his tongue. Every time he said it, the desire to taste it on his tongue grew more and more.

Sakura pumped her fingers back and forth within her, writhing over the sheets at her back as her legs trembled. It didn’t matter what he said to her now. There was no going back, no turning away and she could feel the release building inside her that she had been waiting and begging for the past few weeks. “Kakashi,” she whispered breathlessly. “I want you. I need you inside me.”

She could hear the deep moan vibrating through his chest and his breath coming out in short puffs. He was as close as she was and knowing that he was touching himself only brought her closer to the edge. She abandoned the in and out thrusts of her fingers and slid them up to her clit, moving in frantic circles to bring her that release she wanted _now._ As her lips parted with a sharp gasp, all of the pent up tension between them, all of the desire for him that she had been trying to ignore rose to the surface. Her thighs trembled, hips rocking against the motion of her fingers and suddenly, she was coming.

Her back arched off the bed from the intensity of her orgasm and she couldn’t help crying out. It was useless trying to keep her voice down, especially when he was making similar sounds on the other end of the phone. Sakura’s hips rocked against her hand, still drawing slow circles down the length of her slit as she rode the last waves of pleasure. Despite the silence that followed between them, she could tell it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. They were still breathless, unable to speak just yet.

She pulled her hand out from her panties and stared at her dripping fingers with wide eyes, unable to recall a time she had been _this_ wet. Releasing the tension inside her hadn’t exactly helped the desire she was feeling. If anything, she wanted him even _more_ now. She knew that he might never be able to give her what she was wanting but, she was more than willing to settle for this. As long as it was with Kakashi, that’s all she needed.

When he didn’t speak, she situated the phone back against her ear. “Kakashi?”

He sighed contentedly and her pulse fluttered inside her. “Sorry,” he laughed. “I just...I wasn’t expecting that.”

Sakura bit her lip and rolled over onto her stomach, reaching for the towel she had used after her shower earlier in the day. She wiped her fingers off on it and tossed it back to the floor, unable to keep the smirk from curling at her lips. “Have you ever done that before?”

“Yes,” he said. “But, not on the phone.”

“Oh, I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I didn’t exactly expect it to happen either.” It was the truth, though she was more than happy it had. She would take it all back in a heartbeat if it put him in an awkward situation. But, it seemed that despite how nervous she was about scaring him away, Kakashi didn’t feel the need to hang up the phone. Instead, he laughed softly, the sound tugging at Sakura’s heart strings.

“Sakura, you don’t have to worry about me. Although,” he said, his voice dropping to that same tone he had spoken to her with earlier, the same tone that made her bite her lip. “I do think you should come to confession more often. I’m free tomorrow night if you want a private meeting.”

  
Sakura’s jaw dropped, her eyes nearly rolling back in her head at the thought of being _alone_ with him. For a second, she didn’t know what to say. Half of her, the half that was begging for more than what she had just given herself, wanted to scream _‘Yes! I’ll be there!’._ Instead, she kept her excitement contained. “I think a private meeting would be best for what I need to confess.”

* * *

AN- Excuse any errors. I'm too impatient to edit like a proper author. 

 


	13. Temptation

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It wasn’t enough time. It had been less than twenty four hours since she had spoken to Kakashi on the phone and since they had gone much further than she had intended to go. And now, she was expected to see him in less than two hours? How was she going to keep her hands off of him? It was going to be an impossible task, especially with the way she had been feeling all day.

 

Every little thought back to the way he had spoken to her, every gasp and moan she had heard from him, only brought back the magnitude of desire that she had felt. Knowing she would be in his presence, alone with him, close to him, Sakura was afraid of how far she would be willing to push him. It wasn’t that she wanted to, but she knew herself and knew how impatient and demanding her selfish needs could be.

 

Tonight was confessional night, just like last Friday. The last time she had been there, she had waited in the parking lot until it was nearly ten o’clock, waiting for that last parishioner to leave so she could have the whole building alone with him. Would it be the same tonight? Kakashi had told her to come by around the same time she had been there last week and in a way, it excited her to think he wanted to ensure that they would be alone and unbothered by any late night confessors.

 

But, there was definitely a small part of her that hated being _that_ girl. It was a role she had played before, sneaking around after dark, being the one who was always eager to get on her knees for a man. Knowing that she fell so easily back into that persona disgusted her. And the fact that she did it so easily for Kakashi, after swearing to herself last time that there would never be a next time, was sickening.

 

But, she couldn’t help it. Something about him, something that spoke to her basic, primal desires, drew Sakura to him. Was it because the whole thing was taboo and fulfilled her lustful urges? Or was it more? It felt different than the other times she opened her door and her legs to men before. This felt...deeper somehow. Maybe it was because there was so much on the line for both of them.

 

Seducing a priest who had taken vows of celibacy would make her the town whore, if not worse. Damned to wear an invisible scarlet letter across her chest for the whole town to see and whisper about. That, she could live with. She had done it as a teenager when the entire school had learned of what she had done. They spread rumors, talked about her behind her back and even taped pornography to the front of her locker. It had never bothered her.

 

Ruining Kakashi’s life?

 

That would kill her. She’d rather drive a knife through her own heart than ever destroy him or his reputation.

 

And yet, here she was, knowing that she was the wicked whore seducing a holy man and knowing nothing good could come of it, while pulling on a dress that she hoped would turn him on. She was worse than a whore. She was the viper in his garden, hellbent on corrupting him until it was too late to turn back.

 

Sakura stared at her reflection in the mirror above her bathroom sink, tapping her foot impatiently on the tile floor. Her wet hair clung to her shoulders, dripping streams of water down her shoulders and soaking into the material of her dress. The black fabric hugged her body from the scoop neck that showed more cleavage than anyone should ever show in church, down to the skirt that flared around her thighs. It was exactly what a demon would wear.

 

Her eyes lifted to her face and she sighed, snatching the comb from the sink before brushing the tangles from her hair. Once her hair was free of tangles, she flipped it over and ran the towel over it, drying it at least part of the way. She let it air dry the rest of the way, knowing it would be just the right amount of disheveled indifference that would add to the sexiness.

 

It disgusted her that she was going through with it.

 

Even after she pulled on a pair of ankle boots, after her makeup was dark and seductive enough to meet her standards, she was revolted. Not enough to stop herself, though. No, she didn’t know if there was anything that would stop her now.

 

Sakura stood up straight and studied herself in the mirror one final time. She knew it was all overkill. If he had wanted to kiss her while she was wearing scrubs and had been working all day, he’d want her in just about anything. But, dressing up for him, seeing the look on his face when he saw her bare legs and low cut dress would be thrilling.

 

With a final glance at herself, Sakura turned the lights off in the bathroom and turned away from her reflection. If she hadn’t stopped herself yet, there was no point in dwelling on it. She knew what she wanted and it was almost time for her to get it.

  


* * *

 

 

The church parking lot was nearly deserted as Sakura pulled her red sedan into a space near the back. One car, that had been parked in the lot for the past two months, sat in the corner and she breathed a sigh of relief. It was rather late, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a possibility of someone coming to worship.

 

As she put the car in park, she sat back against the seat and stared at the row of stained glass windows along the side of the building. The lights were still on inside, making the colors bright against the black sky above it. Chills rolled down her body at the mere thought that somewhere inside, Kakashi was there, waiting for her. Had his thoughts been consumed by her all day? Had he hung the phone last night and immediately regretted what they had done?

 

Sakura chewed her lower lip, wishing that she hadn’t worn the dress. It felt so wrong now that she was so close to all of the religious figures painted on the windows of the church. Their stares would follow her as she made her way down the aisles, piercing her with judgmental gazes, urging her to turn back and leave.

 

Ignoring the whispers of voices she had long since forgotten, Sakura grabbed her coat and keys before stepping out of the car. She wrapped the black rain coat around her and pulled it tight at the waist, eyeing the road that ran in front of the parish. This late at night and on this side of town, she didn’t suspect many people would be out for a drive. The dark, deserted highway was welcome and she held her breath, waiting for a car to pass as she made her way to the front steps of the church. When none drove by, she exhaled and stared up at the double doors.

 

Her hand gripped the handle yet she hesitated. That was it. One she was past these doors, there was no more chances to stop herself. Once she laid eyes on him, knowing how his hands felt on her body and how good it felt to kiss him, she would be powerless to resist. Then again, maybe she already was powerless. That’s how it felt, anyway. Something else was controlling her now, pushing her toward this sinful visit for the indulgence she had been dying to satisfy since the moment she first saw Kakashi.

 

Sakura pulled the door open and stepped inside the church, taking in shaking, deep breaths. The pews were empty, candles lit across the altar, and no sign of Kakashi. Even as she stepped into the nave, peering around the corner to where the confessional booths sat, she saw no sign of him. The curtains were all opened in the empty booth.

 

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she made her way down the central aisle, watching the flames dance atop the candles. Behind the altar, the images on the stained glass, all of the saints and holy figures she had been worried about earlier, weren’t as intimidating as she had thought. They were nothing but pictures on glass, not looking her way at all. All of the fear and guilt had existed solely been in her head.

 

She turned her face up toward them and licked her lips, waiting for just one of them to move their eyes toward her and frown in disapproval.

 

“Sakura.”

 

The sound of her name made her whip her head to the left, where Kakashi stood beneath an archway leading down a long, darkened hallway. Immediately, she felt her lips lift in a smile and her body begged her to run to him. She resisted the urge and instead slowly made her way toward him, forgetting all about the figures painted into the glass.

 

He didn’t say anything else, watching her move closer with a look in his eyes that burned her from the inside out. There was no trace of regret behind his gaze like she had been so afraid of. And though she couldn’t be too sure, Sakura suspected that he watched her with as much desire as she stared at him with.

 

She came to a stop in front of him, barely an arm’s length away and stared up at him. All of the memories of his voice from last night, the little sighs and gasps, filled her mind and body with warmth that cascaded down through her like a waterfall. From head to toe, she was on fire for him.

 

Kakashi didn’t reach out to touch her, standing with his hands clasped behind his back the way he would stand out on the lawn, watching the clinic as she worked. It sent a shiver down her spine and she lifted a hand between them. Her fingers curled around the rosary hanging past his chest, bringing it closer to her face so she could rub her thumb over the beads. “If you want to wait for me in my office,” his voice pulled her attention up to meet his eyes. “I’ll lock the doors and join you in a moment.”

 

Sakura let the chain of beads fall away from her fingers, wanting nothing more than to grab him by the front of his frock and pull him down onto her. As he turned away from her, heading toward the front doors, Sakura followed the hall that lead to his office. The first time she had been down this hall, she had been so terrified that he was going to shut the clinic down and tell her never to return that she had been shaking from head to toe. Now, she was trembling for a completely different reason.

 

The gold name plate on the front door caught the light from the hallway as she moved closer to it, catching her eye. Sakura ran her fingers over the cool metal, across the letters of his name, before she pushed the door open and stepped inside. It looked just as it had the first time she had seen it. Bookshelves lined the room, filled with books of various sizes with theological titles with a single window on the wall opposite of the door. The curtains were drawn over it but she could see the faint, yellow glow from a street lamp outside.

 

From what she remembered of the layout of the grounds, Sakura guessed that the parking lot was on the other side of the wall, as well as the lawn where she had worked in the clinic for the past few weeks. She wondered if he had ever looked out the window, watching her work. Just the thought of it made her bite her lip, wishing she had known. She would have given him something to look at.

 

The door to Kakashi’s office shut with a soft thump that made Sakura whirl around. Seeing him standing there, staring at her in a way that had shivers cascading down her body, was almost enough to drive her mad. But, before she could take a step toward him, he gestured to his desk where a leather chair was placed in front of it. “Sit,” he commanded, making her eyebrows lift in surprise.

 

She had been hoping that he would cut right to the chase but, it seemed he wanted to draw this out for a bit longer. Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, Sakura moved toward the chair and started to lower herself into it. Kakashi took her by the elbow before she could and she looked up at him in confusion. “Not there,” he said, spinning her around until she was facing him. “Here.”

 

Her ass hit the top of his desk, knocking a cup holding several pens and pencils over onto the table top. Sakura’s eyes widened and she looked up at him as he moved between her legs. The brush of fabric against the inside of her knees, feeling his thighs against her with only the material of his cassock between them, drew a low moan out from her throat. It was all she could do to keep her eyes from closing. This was definitely something she didn’t want to miss, despite how turned on she was. She watched Kakashi lean closer and for a second, Sakura thought he would kiss her. Instead, he leaned in to whisper into her ear.

 

“Do you have something you wish to confess?”

 

This time, she couldn’t help it. Her eyes closed as she shuddered from the sound of his voice and the feel of his breath across the shell of her ear. Sakura reached up toward him, wanting nothing more than to grab him by the rosary and kiss him. He didn’t let her and took her wrists in his firm grip, laying them back down into her lap. With a whimper, she opened her eyes to see him lowering into the chair she had intended to sit in herself.

 

He leaned back, folding his hands together in front of him as his eyes traveled down the length of her body. Every bit of flesh he gazed upon, Sakura felt as if she were being burned. It took all of her strength to keep from taking her dress off right there. She took the hem of her skirt in her fists, but kept it around her thighs. “You told me you had some things to confess,” he said, urging he to speak.

 

It was as if her voice was frozen to the back of her throat and all she could manage to do was whimper and gasp. Couldn’t he see how badly she needed him right now? Her panties were practically drenched through to the top of his desk. How had he turned this around on her so fast? Wasn’t it she who was supposed to be seducing him? Taking a deep breath, she nodded, lowering her head to stare at her legs dangling off the side of his desk. “Yes,” she said, meeting his eyes. “I do. It’s been only a week since my last confession and I’ve been facing some dangerous temptations.”

 

Kakashi let his gaze fall away from hers and moved down to the amount of skin she was showing above the neckline on her dress, focusing on the curve of her breasts from behind the material. “What sort of temptations?” He asked, not looked away from her body.

 

“I want to be touched...by someone close to me.”

 

“Being touched isn’t necessarily a dangerous thing.” At this, he met her gaze again and Sakura let out a shaky breath. In a swift move, he leaned forward and his hand reached out, fingers dancing softly across the flesh on the back of her knee. Their eyes locked as he drew a line from the back of her calf up to where her thigh sat along the edge of his desk, sending a trail of fire along every inch.

 

“No, but the kind I’m craving is.” She had hoped this would be a hint for him to move his hand further up her thigh but, her hopes were crushed when he took his hand away and stood to his feet.

 

“And, what kind are you craving?” His voice was low, barely a whisper and it was clear that he was craving it just as badly as she was. “Show me.”

 

Sakura’s eyes widened and she looked up into his face, begging him with her eyes just to kiss her. But, she could see that he had other desires at the moment. He wanted to see her touch herself, the way she had on the phone with him last night. Slowly, Sakura lifted the hem of her skirt up the length of her thighs until the material pooled around her hips, exposing a small bit of her white panties. Kakashi’s eyes flickered down to where her legs were parting and his breath hitched in the back of his throat.

 

She kept her eyes on him as he watched her, loving the way he was staring at her, as if he had never seen something as incredible as her. It was empowering and any trepidation she had about touching herself on top of his desk was immediately absolved. She leaned back, propping herself up with one hand while she used the other to dip beneath the fabric of her pantes.

 

Her middle finger slid along the length of her slit, teasing herself as much as she was teasing Kakashi. Slowly, she pushed the tip of her finger between the slick folds and let her head fall back. Unlike the night before, her movements weren’t as desperate. She took her time now, savoring the feel of her own fingers and his gaze she could still feel burning into her flesh.

 

On either side of her hips, Kakashi had taken the fabric of her skirt into his fists but was careful not to touch her. Feeling a bit mischievous, Sakura took her hand out from beneath her panties and brought it to her lips, catching his gaze. He watched her, his eyes heavy with desire as she took her finger into her mouth and sucked the juices from it. “I can show you how to touch me, if you want.”

 

Kakashi nodded, and Sakura wondered if his voice was now frozen as hers had been only moments ago. His chest rose and fell with every ragged breath, but his gaze told her that he was very eager to learn. Sakura inched closer to the edge of the desk until her feet were back on the floor. She hooked her thumbs into the band of her panties and wiggled out of them. Kakashi, she noticed, followed them all the way down to the floor with his eyes and she couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at the corner of her lips.

 

She held out a hand for him. “Give me your hand.” He set his down on top of her palm, fingers trembling softly.

 

Sakura turned in his arms so that her back was against his chest, lowering his hand toward her hips. She could feel his breath at her ear as she gathered her skirt around her waist again, pressing his fingers to the strip of hair that had been hidden behind her panties. The warmth of his hand was soothing against the sudden cool air that touched her and she gave him a moment to get used to being close to her.

 

His fingertips traced the line of hair, moving lower to the center where he had seen her touch herself only moments ago. Since he seemed eager to move on, she covered his fingers with her own and pushed his middle one along the fold of her sex. This time, it was her turn to gasp and she let her head fall back against his shoulder. She moved his finger along the inside of her until he brushed over her clit. When she whimpered at the pressure he applied, Kakashi hesitated. “Do you feel that?” She whispered, drawing the pad of his finger back over it. When he nodded, she made circles around the bundle of pleasure. “That’s my clitoris. Its only purpose in the world is for pleasure.”

 

His breath was hot against the side of her face and she turned, needing his kiss now. No more delays, no more teasing. Keeping his finger against her, Sakura reached up with her free hand and grasped a handful of hair, using her hold to pull him toward her. His lips captured hers, kissing her fervently. Though the last thing she wanted was for him to stop touching her, she turned in his arms until the hand he had between her legs slid to her hip.

 

Sakura gripped the line of buttons down his chest, keeping him as close to her as possible, just in case he decided to back away. Their lips were in a frenzy, moving over one anothers as if they couldn’t get enough. His hands gripped her ass, lifting her from the floor and she wasted no time wrapping her legs around his waist. Kakashi carried her back to his desk, setting her down on top of it so quickly, the entire thing moved back a few inches on the rug. They barely noticed, not even breaking their kiss for a single breath.

 

He gathered her skirt in his hands, pulling it up around her waist before pushing her thighs as far apart as they would go. Sakura gasped as his fingers found her again, searching for her clit. He found it quickly, mimicking the movement she had showed him. This time, she broke away from his mouth and moaned, clinging to his shoulders so she wouldn’t fall back. He was a fast learner apparently, and drew slow circles through the wet heat radiating from her sex.

 

It felt better than anything she had ever done to herself, had ever gotten from anyone else before in her life. She didn’t want it to ever stop but knew she needed more. “Kakashi,” she whimpered, opening her eyes to gaze up at him. The way he was watching her sent jolts of electricity sizzling across her flesh and her mouth fell open in a silent cry of pleasure. He lifted his gaze to hers, the slow movement of his middle finger not stopping. She found her voice but it was only a whisper. “I want to feel you inside me.”

 

Reaching between them, Sakura took his hand and moved him lower. He found her opening, tracing it with his finger before he pushed it into her. She couldn’t help falling away from him, leaning back on her elbows with her head tilted back. The way he moved inside her, pushing all the way in until there was no more room only to slowly pull back, made Sakura’s legs shake around him. His finger curled and she gasped, arching her back. “Yes, just like that,” she whispered.

 

As he pulled back once more, he hesitated, his finger nearly slipping out of her. Sakura whimpered in protest and lifted her head to look down at him, terrified he was having regrets. But, the feel of him pushing a second finger into her quickly reassured her that he wasn’t. Her mouth fell open, her legs shook and she laid back completely over his desk, her hair spilling over the edge. With one hand, she pulled the neckline of her dress down until her breasts were free, nipples pointing up to the ceiling, while the other hand reached between her legs.

 

She found her clit and rubbed her first two fingers over it, unable to keep herself quiet now. She moaned from deep within her chest, pleasure filling every corner of her body. Her toes curled in her boots, her thighs shook, and her heart pounded as she felt Kakashi drawing her orgasm closer. He moved in time with her fingers on her clit, curling his finger upward as he pumped them in and out of her pussy. She could feel her juices dripping down the curve of her ass and in the back of her mind, she wondered if it was getting all over his desk.

 

But, then Kakashi leaned over her body, dragging his tongue across one of her nipples and Sakura lost all ability to think about anything else. He sucked it into his mouth, drawing a sharp gasp out of her as he grazed his teeth across the sensitive nub. “Please,” she begged, squeezing her eyes shut. “Don’t stop.”

 

His fingers kept their pace, slipping in and out of her as his tongue swirled across her nipple. It was too much. She couldn’t hold on any longer, though she wanted to prolong this exquisite pleasure for as long as possible. It was too great, too intense and she could feel the coil began to unravel. “I’m coming,” she gasped, her back arching completely off the desk. Kakashi slid his arm beneath her holding her up as she came. Her muscles squeezed around his fingers in wave after and he slowed his fingers until they were stroking her gently from the inside.

 

Sakura groaned, her hips grinding into his palm as her entire body shuddered from the intensity of her orgasm. As it began to fade, she let her eyes open, staring up at him in breathless shock. He held her with an arm around her back, his breath ragged as he pulled his hand away from her. She watched him lift his hand between them, staring down at his dripping fingers. And just as she had demonstrated to him, Kakashi brought them to his lips and tasted her. She could have came all over again just watching him, though she doubted she had the energy.

 

With her legs still wrapped around his waist, Sakura sat up enough that she could move her hands between them. This time, she reached for the bulge pressing against the inside of his cassock. Her eyes widened at the length of it against her palm, her mouth watering at the thought of tasting his cock. Before she could undo even one of the buttons keeping her from seeing it, Kakashi took her hands in his and pulled them away. She looked up at him, a pout across her lips.

 

“I can’t,” he breathed, bringing her palm to his face. He kissed the inside of her hand and down to her wrist. “I want to, but I can’t.”

 

God, for a brief moment, she had forgotten about his vows. She tried not to look disappointed, nodding though she wished he would change his mind. “I understand.”

 

Despite her panties still discarded on the floor and the fact that she was still absolutely soaked, Kakashi pulled her closer to him and held her against his chest. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple and Sakura bit her lip as she held onto him tightly. She had came here to seduce him and corrupt him, and had succeeded. How quickly he had caught on had been surprising, and she was sure she would still be feeling shaky tomorrow from how intense her orgasm had been. Yet, none of it compared to how good it felt to be in his arms. She felt protected, safe from all of the fear and guilt that was a constant shadow in the back of her mind.

 

With Kakashi, she felt as if she belonged.

 

* * *

 

AN- as always, I don't edit. Sorry if you found any misspelling/other errors. I'm exhausted but was dying to post this as soon as I finished since it's the first taste of smut. Uh...it gets pretty filthy from here on out so....yeah. You've been warned.


	14. Lascivious

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For the hundredth time in the past hour, Kakashi sighed. It seemed that his efforts to try and concentrate on tonight’s sermon were futile. How he had made it through the morning service without losing his focus, he’ll never know. Especially when all he could think about for the past two days was how exquisite it had felt to have Sakura on his desk, legs splayed as he pressed his fingers inside her.

 

Kakashi glanced to the spot on his desk she had sat and wished she was there now. If he thought concentrating was impossible without her, there’d be no saving his focus if she were. Though he had been dying to keep her by his side all weekend, he knew he couldn’t ask her to do that. Not because he didn’t want to, and he was pretty sure she wouldn’t object to it either, but because it would be an extremely bad idea.

 

What they were doing was already a bad idea. Having her stay overnight with him, no matter how badly he wanted her to, would be far more dangerous than anything else they had done so far. Meeting in secret, if only for a few hours, he could get away with. It wasn’t an odd occurrence that someone in need would occupy his time for a few hours. But, a few days? That would be more than a dead giveaway.

 

The fact that he was being so sneaky with their meetings should have been all the evidence he needed that this, what they were doing, was wrong. But, he didn’t care. He had lived his life as close to God as he could, and though that didn’t justify his selfishness, it didn’t exactly make him want to stop either. For the past fifteen years, he had led a selfless life, devoting himself to his faith and the church. He knew it was wrong to desire something that was all his. It was such a selfish desire, but it was becoming harder and harder to _care_. It was a fine line he walked. On one side, was his duties to his faith and God...on the other, was Sakura. It could all crumble so easily…

 

Would he really risk losing everything for her?

 

Judging by the feelings constantly pressing against his chest, filling him with things he couldn’t even begin to describe, Kakashi was sure that the answer to that questions was a ‘yes’. But, he wouldn’t think about that right now. Not when they hadn’t even become close to being caught. He would of course take the necessary precautions to prevent that they ever would but for now…he just wanted to be with her without the constant worry that this would all end badly.

 

Sighing, he sat back in his chair, the bolts beneath the seat protesting loudly with the sudden movement. He scrubbed his hand down his face, taking a moment to rub the exhaustion from his eyes. Dark circles had settled in beneath his eyes for the past few nights, telling him he should get more sleep instead of staying awake, trying to replay what had happened and fantasize about what was to come.

 

The way her hands had reached for him, eyes widening in surprise by what she had found beneath his robes, made Kakashi hard all over again. He had wanted nothing more than to push her back down onto his desk, pull his cock out and bury it where his fingers had only been moments before. And he had been so close to doing just that. If she were here now, he didn’t know if he’d be strong enough to stop himself.

 

With a groan, he pressed both of his palms into his eyes until spots danced across the back of his eyelids. He had to stop thinking about her and how badly he wanted to taste her. There was less than two hours until his next sermon and he had barely worked through the opening lines.

 

Sunday night crowds were always sparse but, that didn’t mean those that did attend deserved to have their priest half-ass the message that they were there to hear. But, as he pulled his chair closer to his desk to force himself to concentrate on his work, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to a different direction. The sermon he had picked out was another preaching about the dangers of temptation, though he was wanting to change his mind about it now that he knew what it felt like. It made him regret ever speaking on the topic.

 

Was this temptation he was feeling anything like what Eve had faced? He had always preached on the side against her, chalking her up to being weak without giving it much of a second thought. Now, he wasn’t so sure he believed that any longer. He wondered if he owed Eve an apology for all the sermons about her over the years.

 

Surely, if what she had faced was anything like his, she felt she had no other choice to make. What life would there be if he hadn’t given in? A life without knowing Sakura, without kissing her or feeling this strange, unexplainable connection they had didn’t even seem like an option anymore.

 

Kakashi crushed his notes in his fist, tossing them into the trash can to start fresh, with something completely different. He couldn’t preach on temptation anymore, couldn’t condemn Eve for giving in, not when he had made the same choice. How could he stand in front of the congregation, telling them to turn away from their desires when he had so easily given into them? He may be facing an eternity in Hell for what he was doing, but at least he wouldn’t be a hypocrite.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sleep, it would seem, would elude Sakura for yet another night. She laid in her bed, fingers drumming across her chest. Her body begged for slumber and her mind refused to quit thinking, hellbent on replaying every little moment she had spent with Kakashi two nights ago. Every touch of his fingers across her body, every kiss and sigh, was as clear in her memory as it had been while it happened.

 

There was still a part of her that couldn’t believe any of it. Surely, she had dreamed it all in wonderful, vivid detail. Had Kakashi’s fingers really been inside her? _Yes_ , they had…And even now, forty-eight hours later, she could still feel the ghost of his tongue across her nipple. She closed her eyes and whimpered, rolling her face into her pillow.

 

How did she feel more tortured after their rendezvous than she ever did before? Her body had gotten a little taste of the pleasure he could give her, and it was becoming greedy. It refused to let her sleep or think of very little else, demanding his lips and his touch. Not even reading her erotic short stories could help her. She had tried to envision the main characters as Kakashi and herself, but it did little to ease the ache.

 

Words on a page, no matter how descriptive the author wrote them, paled in comparison to the real thing. Through one eye, she spied the cell phone sitting on her bedside table. She may not be able to feel his touch, but his voice was a nice alternative. Sakura reached for the device and pressed the center button, the screen light cutting through the darkness of the bedroom.

 

She winced from the sudden brightness and frowned at the time displayed at the top of the screen. Fifteen passed midnight…He wouldn’t be in his office this late. Still, she couldn’t help trying. Her thumb pressed the familiar number in the call log and she held her breath, listening to the ringing.

 

After the fifth one, the answering machine picked up and Sakura ended the call with a sigh. Rolling onto her back, she pulled up her text messages and found Ino’s name. She knew the blonde was working the night shift tonight, picking up Sakura’s slack during her suspension.

 

 _Are you busy tonight?_  


 

Ino’s response was quick and made Sakura smile.

 

 ** _Ino: Surprisingly, we’re not! Maybe you need to stay away more often :P  
_**_Don’t tempt me. When’s your next off night?_  
**Ino: Thursday.  
Ino: Why? Are you actually wanting to hang out with your best friend for once?  
** Oh, ha-ha. I’m going stir-crazy in my exile. Nothing too crazy, but maybe a night out?  
**Ino: That sounds fun! I’m thinking drinks and dancing?**

 ****  
  
Well, that didn’t sound very fun to Sakura, but anything was better than laying in her bed, moping about the fact that she couldn’t spend every waking moment pursuing orgasms from her priest. Something had to take her mind off of him, if she wanted to keep her sanity. And as much as the club scene no longer excited Sakura, the promise of alcohol would help numb the misery she was wallowing in currently. As long as she could hold out until Thursday.

 _As much as I hate dancing, anything is better than solitary confinement and house arrest rolled into one._  
**Ino: No one said you couldn’t leave your house, dumb-dumb. Btw, Tomoko is being such a smug bitch lately. Can’t wait until you come back and can knock her down a peg or two  
** I think my fighting days are behind me.  
**Ino: Let’s hope not!**

 

Sakura shook her head with a chuckle, letting her phone lay flat against her chest as she stared up at the darkened ceiling. Thursday seemed so far away now. Could she even last four more days through this torture without caving to her desires? She and Kakashi had agreed to only meet on Friday nights from now on, just in case people became suspicious. Despite how fucked up sneaking around the Parish in the late hours of the night was, she didn’t seem to care enough to even _think_ about changing her mind. She would continue to see him and wallow in self-pity and self-hatred the days after.

 

If this was the only way to have Kakashi, then she would endure through the guilt and ache that came along with it. And when Friday came back around, they would sneak away and relieve the pain from one another, even if it was only for a little while.

 

 

* * *

 

Unfortunately, it seemed that Sakura’s solution of copious amounts of alcoholic beverages did little to dull the desire that still waged war on her body nearly a week after she had been with Kakashi. After her third drink, the rum had only managed to ignite the flames to a higher degree. She was sweltering, despite the thin material of her dress that made her wish she had opted for something that didn’t cling to every curve of her body.

 

Ino had convinced her to wear a skin tight, crimson dress that had no sleeves but reached up around her throat and fell to the middle of her thighs. It was hard not to feel sexy, but with the thoughts Sakura had been having, she would have been safer in her pajamas and T-shirt. The dress wasn’t something she could ever wear to church. It was almost a shame Kakashi would never see her wearing it.

 

Then again, she could always hide it beneath a long jacket and surprise him. Though, surprising him by being _naked_ under a coat would be even better.

 

Sakura’s thoughts were interrupted by a hand waving in front of her face, pulling her from her over-active imagination with a couple of blinks. She looked to her best friend who sat across from her at the tall table against the wall of the club. “Hello?” Ino asked with a shake of her head. “You in there tonight?”

 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” She picked up the half empty glass in front of her and sipped at the rum and cola. “I guess I got lost in my thoughts. Work stress, as usual.”

 

“Work stress doesn’t usually give someone _that_ kind of smile?” She pointed a finger to Sakura, her blue eyes glittering beneath the neon lights of the club. In an instant, Sakura wiped the smile off of her face, unaware it had even appeared. It seemed that she really did get lost in her thoughts.

 

With a shrug, she brushed her hair over her shoulder and decided not to even answer her. Instead, she nodded to the crowd of people dancing to the music in the middle of the club. It was the last place they had seen their third friend, Tenten. She had found a guy within the first fifteen minutes of stepping into the building and disappeared with him in the throng of sweaty, grinding bodies. “You think Ten will need to come up for air soon?”

 

“Ugh,” Ino said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t know how she does it. She manages to always find the one good guy in a club full of losers.”

 

The music died suddenly and the table of men sitting behind them turned to stare at Ino, not too terribly perturbed by her words after taking a single look at the way she was dressed. Unfortunately for them, Ino paid them no attention. She sipped at her cocktail and crossed her long legs at the knee. Sakura hid a giggle behind her glass as one of the men felt brave enough to approach their table.

 

But, when another man stood and joined his friend, Sakura’s smile fell. She was in no mood to fake flirting and think of an excuse as to why she didn’t want to give a stranger her phone number. Despite the frown her mouth had shifted into, the two men sauntered up to their table and glanced between the both of them.

 

As far as losers went, they weren’t too terrible to look at. Nothing at all like Father Hatake, but then again, who could compare to him? Sakura swallowed and shifted in her seat, her eyes moving to meet Ino’s over the table.

 

“You ladies having a good time?” One of them asked as he ran a hand through his dark hair.

 

“Well, we certainly _were._ ” If they noticed the tone of Ino’s voice, they either decided to ignore it or couldn’t pick up on the hint. She finished her cocktail in one long sip before sliding her gaze up to the man.

 

Sakura’s body tensed as the one who had noticed her leaned an elbow onto the table and turned her way. He smiled wolfishly, not even hiding the fact that he was checking her out. “I like your dress.”

Great. Now she’d have to burn it. Still, she forced a smile and looked down into the ice cubes slowly melting in the rum. “Thanks,” she muttered.

 

“You wanna dance?” He held out a hand and Sakura glanced down to the chunky, gold ring sitting around his pinky. It was so tacky and caught the lights above them, making it hard for her to look away.

 

Before she could answer with a stern ‘ _no_ ’, Ino did it for her. Unfortunately, her answer was not what Sakura had planned to say. “She’d love to!”

 

The man seemed thrilled to hear it and reached over to take Sakura’s hand, tugging her toward the dance floor. She stared at Ino in disbelief as she stumbled off the stool. “ _Ino!_ ” The girl waved her off with a shrug.

 

“Let loose, Sakura. God knows you need it.”

 

Sakura needed a lot of things. She needed a proper best friend apparently, needed another night with Kakashi and too many other things to even name. What she did _not_ need was some random creep trying to grind against her backside for a few songs. Just having his hand on her wrist made her skin crawl with disgust.

 

Two months ago, she would have gone with him without a glance back. She would have danced, flirted, gotten drunk and more than likely took him home. But, two months ago she didn’t know Kakashi and though they made no claims on each other, this still felt a bit like she was betraying him. Her body belonged to him, whether he wanted it to or not.

 

Before she was ready, the man had pulled her within the crowd of dancing bodies. The lights above them flashed in time to the beat of the song and there was a distinct smell of too many perfumes mixing in with sweat. Sakura’s nose wrinkled, and she had no time to recover before his hands were on her hips, pulling her close to him. His thigh pushed between her legs and she gripped his shoulders to keep from falling over.

 

She closed her eyes and clamped her teeth around her bottom lip as he began to sway her to the beat. For a moment, she was disgusted. His hands didn’t feel right. They were too small and greedy as they groped the flesh of her hips. But, keeping her eyes closed made it easier for her body to do what Ino had said and let loose.

 

With the steady beat of the music, she relaxed into his hands and moved her hips. It wasn’t long until the dance floor melted away and she could imagine this stranger as someone else, someone tall with silver hair and a black cassock. Even though he existed only in her mind at the moment, Sakura’s body responded to the thought of his body against her, guiding her to the song.

 

A hand curved to the small of her back and she parted her lips in a tiny breath as he pressed her closer. She ran her hands up his chest, eyes still closed, wishing to feel that line of buttons that ran from his throat down the length of his body.

 

Between her legs, her panties grew damp and her stomach clenched with desire. Sakura let her head fall back as he dipped his hand down the curve of her ass. Her eyes opened to the mirror running over the ceiling above them. She could see her reflection with every flash of the light. Her hands around a stranger’s neck, his head ducked down to plant a kiss along her shoulder…it was so wrong.

 

It didn’t matter what she imagined behind her closed eyes, he wasn’t Kakashi. His hands would never touch her the way Kakashi’s did, he would never feel the way Kakashi did pressed against her chest. Disgusted, Sakura shook her head and wrenched free from his hold, pressing a hand to her mouth. The man shouted after her, his voice nearly drowned out by the music. Sakura didn’t care what he had to say.

 

She had to get out there. Out of the dance floor, out of the club. She needed the cool, night air to soothe the burn across her body. At the table, Ino had invited her new friend to sit across from her and Sakura could see him admiring the palm of her hand on the table. The blond giggled and turned away from whatever he was saying, her eyes catching sight of Sakura.

 

One glance at the look of distress on her face and Ino tensed. She jerked her hand back as Sakura stepped up to the table, trying to slow her breathing. “Are you alright? What happened?”

 

“Nothing, I’m fine. I just…I have to leave.”

 

“What?” Ino stepped off the stool as Sakura grabbed the purse she had brought along, throwing the thin strap over her shoulder. “Why?”

 

With a sigh, Sakura backed away from the table. “I’ll tell you later.”

 

Outside the club, the line of people waiting to get in stretched almost to the end of the block. The breeze blew the hair away from her shoulders and she sighed as it began to cool the fire burning through her. She waved a hand to a taxi driving slowly in front of the club and let herself smile as it pulled to a stop at the curb.

 

As she slid into the backseat, mouth open to give the driver her address, a thought stopped her. It may not have been Friday…but she was desperate to see Kakashi. She couldn’t wait another night alone in her bed, left only with her imagination and the memory of his hands over her body. “Church of the Holy Virgin, please.” The words were out of her mouth before she could swallow them back and the driver gave a nod.

 

Her heart thundered behind her chest as the cab pulled away from the curb. What was she doing? She hadn’t called him, hadn’t spoken to him since they agreed only to meet on Fridays. Would he be angry with her for dropping by unannounced? And then, there were the other concerns. What if someone was in the church with him?

 

Dressed like a prostitute, she didn’t exactly fit the look of a woman in need of religious counseling. Sakura stared down at the hem of her dress, tugging it down her thighs. She let her head fall back against the leather seat and let out a breath. The street lights shown through the window in flashes, similar to the strobe lights on the dance floor.

 

Thinking back to the brief few minutes she had danced with that man made her skin crawl. She needed a shower, preferably a scalding one, to burn the feel of his hands away from her body. But, despite how disgusted she was with herself for letting him even near her, it wasn’t enough to erase the desire that remained, coursing heavy and hot through her veins.

 

The cab began to slow, and her eyes snapped open to see a familiar block of the city appear around them. Her heart leapt into her throat and she gathered her purse into her lap. She managed to grab enough money along with a fairly generous tip before handing it to driver. “Have a good night,” he called absentmindedly, counting the bills she had handed him.

 

Sakura stepped out of the cab and stared at the building across the street. None of the lights were on in the main building. The stained-glass windows were dark, making the entire structure appear just a bit creepy. Regret began to gnaw at the inside of her stomach and she turned back to the cab, her mouth opening to call to the driver.

 

The car pulled away before she could even utter a sound and after it disappeared around the corner, she was stuck. Unless she wanted to call Ino to come pick her up but that would be a bit hard to explain to her why she was at the church. Despite telling her she’d explain it all later, Sakura had no intention of letting her in on this secret.

 

Though she decided not to call Ino, she did pull her cell phone out of her purse as she crossed the street. In the parking lot, she could see along the side of the church building where Kakashi’s office was located. The window she had stood in front of, looking out at the courtyard not even a week ago, was lit from the inside.

 

Sakura’s steps slowed to a stop and she shivered at just the thought of him being in his office, so close to her. She quickly glanced to the parking lot, breathing a thankful sigh that it was completely empty except for the broken-down car parked in the last space in the corner. Despite the chill in the air, she didn’t make her way to the building just yet. She lowered herself down onto the bench near the bus stop and pulled up the number to his office.

 

He answered it on the second ring. “Father Hatake.”

 

“Hey,” she breathed, wrapping her free arm around her waist.

 

“Sakura…” The smile was easy to hear in the way he spoke, and it sent a wave of shivers across her body that had nothing to do with the cold.

 

She tilted her face toward the sky, closing her eyes with a deep breath. “Can I make a confession?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Hearing his voice made this all the more difficult. The last thing she wanted to do was tell him that she let a strange man touch her and dance with her. It would only eat at her if she kept it to herself though. “I went out tonight with my friends.” She swallowed, forcing the words out before she could change her mind. “We went dancing and there was this man who wanted to dance with me. I let him, and I felt so…vile for it. I kept closing my eyes, thinking about…about you. I tried to imagine that it was your hands on my body and not his and I couldn’t. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was horrible. I’m sorry.”

 

On the other end of the call, she could hear him shift in his desk chair and clear his throat. For a moment, he stayed quiet. With each second that passed in silence, she felt worse, as if she were a low, filthy person. She swallowed, her fingers tightening around the phone at her ear. She turned to glance at his window, still bright from the light in his office. “Sakura,” he said quietly, his voice startling her. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m aware that there are certain things I can’t give you. It would be unfair of me to ask you not to seek them from someone else.”

 

“You don’t have to ask me. I don’t want them from anyone else. I told you, I want you in anyway I can have you.” She bit her lip, her eyes not wavering from his office window. “I have another confession, though.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I’m outside.”

* * *

 

AN- Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you haven't missed Father Hatake too terribly. I do have the second part of this chapter written but don't know if I should post it....it's rather...explicit ;) What do you think? Should I go ahead and post it?


	15. Ecstasy

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Kakashi couldn’t get to the front doors quick enough. With his heart in his throat and his fingers trembling as he paused just long enough to turn the main lights of the church on, he moved down the center aisle between the pews. Just on the other side of those double doors, Sakura stood waiting for him. He had barely managed to tell her to wait one moment before he slammed the phone down on the receiver and hurried through the halls.

By the time he reached the vestibule, he had to take just a second to catch his breath. He raked his fingers through his hair and smoothed the front of his shirt down. There were wrinkles across the black fabric from him sitting for so long at his desk and he scowled down at them.

_Hurry, idiot. It’s freezing outside!_

Kakashi rushed forward and twisted the locks, the sound echoing around the vestibule. As the last one clicked into place, he pulled the door open and held his breath.

Sakura lifted her head, a small smile pulling the corner of her lips up. The first thought that went through his mind was relief. He didn’t realize he had been needing her presence so badly. Now that she was in front of him and not part of his imagination, his hands were itching to reach out and touch her. He hesitated as he took in the rest of her.

One look at the dress on her body and the thoughts in his head shifted to all of the carnal, wicked things he wanted to do to her. He swallowed and glanced over her head to the parking lot outside. There were no cars, no one walking by who might see them and he breathed a sigh. “Come in,” he said, taking a step back so she could enter. “Aren’t you cold?”

As he shut the door and turned the locks back, she rubbed her palms down the length of her arms.  Kakashi couldn’t help noticing the goosebumps covering her flesh. But, as his eyes drifted across her bare arms, he also noticed exactly how tight her dress was, clinging to her every curve. The crimson material left nothing to the imagination and he couldn’t help staring at her backside as she stepped further into the nave.

Just as she reached the aisle between the two rows of pews, Sakura turned to face him. “I was,” she said softly, adjusting the thin strap of her matching red purse on her shoulder. “I’m getting warmer now.”

Kakashi’s steps matched the beat of his heart as he closed the distance between them. He reached for her, taking her face in his hands and tilting it up to meet him. The cool press of her lips against his made him shiver. He pushed his fingers into her hair and deepened their kiss, parting her lips with his own.

The tiny moan that he drew from the back of her throat ignited a fire within him and he let it consume him. He was powerless against it. Not even God himself could keep Kakashi away from her in that moment. He slipped his hand down her shoulders to her side, circling around to her backside. He found her feminine curves and kneaded it into his hands, wanting nothing more than to pull the dress from her body.

Sakura broke their kiss with a gasp. He moved his lips lower, tasting the sensitive skin along her throat. “Should we…move to your office?”

He didn’t want to go anywhere. He would have laid her down in the pews if she would let him, but he wanted her to be warm. The church was too drafty, a result of the numerous repairs he kept putting off over the last few months. Besides, he knew somewhere better than his office they could warm up. “I have a better idea,” he murmured against her neck, nipping at the flesh just beneath her ear. Pulling away from her, which was the last thing he wanted to do, he smoothed the hair down the side of her head and pressed his forehead against hers.

The usual pink color of her lips had returned, and he loved the flushed look across her face. She was breathless and her eyes full of desire. Deep within him, within his soul, he knew this was a bad idea. He didn’t have the strength to resist anymore, not after what he had done last week with her. Would he be able to stop himself if she wanted more of him tonight?

Sakura’s grip around his arms tightened and he blinked out of the momentary daze he had fallen into. Whether he could resist or not, he didn’t care. Whatever happened, happened. He would deal with the torment in the morning.

 

* * *

 

The walk across the courtyard of the church seemed to stretch forever. What they were doing, this sneaking around to hide from the eyes of God, only seemed to feel worse in the darkness. Sakura swallowed as he led her from the main building to one that had been built on in the last few decades.

It had never really occurred to her that he lived on the grounds. Of course, she knew he had to live _somewhere._ She just didn’t think it would be so close to the church where the figure etched into the stained glass could watch them steal away thought the dark to commit the most heinous sins with a man who vowed to never commit them. Her heartbeat was thunderous inside her, filling her chest to the limit and pressing hard against the back of her throat.

She knew she should have stopped him.

The voice in the back of her mind that she had ignored for the past several years, the one that always reminded her of how awful she was had returned. _Look how eager you are to ruin his life. You should be ashamed of yourself…but you have no shame, do you? You’re just a wretched, disgusting whore._ It whispered to her, its tone smug and satisfied to be back in her head.

She should stop this before they did something they’d regret.

She didn’t want to be this person anymore, always sneaking through the dark, behind buildings and away from girlfriends or prying eyes. Why was she so willing to fall back into that role now? Why Kakashi? He didn’t deserve this. _She_ didn’t deserve _him_.

The hand gripping hers gave it a squeeze and she looked up at his face. He seemed to sense her hesitation and slowed his pace along the paved path. Kakashi searched her face, though it was hard to see in the darkness and Sakura wanted to turn away from him. She didn’t want him to see who she truly was. When his fingers touched her face, she swallowed. “Are you alright?”

Sakura nodded. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble.” With the church _or_ with God. Damning himself to eternal hellfire just for her seemed ridiculous. She wasn’t worth that.

“Sakura, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. At least come inside and get warm.” He ducked his head to meet her gaze, his smile making her heart ache. “I can make us some hot chocolate.”

His offer was sweet, and she fought the urge to cry. She didn’t deserve him, or his kindness and it was killing her. Instead of letting him guide her the rest of the way to his home, she pressed her hand over his lingering against her cheek. Despite everything she wanted to say to him, despite all of the sudden emotions overwhelming her, she couldn’t find her voice. How could she begin to describe how he made her feel?

She nodded and together, they made it to his apartment. The townhome was built with the same kind of stone as the rest of the church, though it was apparent that his addition was much younger. It stretched up two stories and through the front window, a soft light illuminated a strip of dark grey curtain.

As Kakashi slid his key into the deadbolt, Sakura glanced up at the silver cross hanging on the front of his door. Though it was just a cross, no crucifix, Sakura couldn’t help feeling as if the eyes of God were watching her from within the symbol. He could see the wicked things she craved and He was disappointed.

The front door opened and Sakura hurried inside to avoid anymore judgmental stares from an inanimate object. At first, her eyes couldn’t adjust to the dim light filtering in from one of the rooms to her right and she squinted in the darkness. Kakashi shut the door behind them and flipped the light switch on the wall. The main hall of his home was hardwood floors that stretched back behind a staircase along the left-hand wall. Though it was decorated rather sparsely, Sakura could see Kakashi in all of it.

The calm, grey tone of the walls, the rich wood of the floors, it all matched him perfectly. Even his smell was everywhere. She couldn’t help taking in a deep breath as he led her further into the hall. As he veered to the right into a room that looked like a living are, Sakura ran her hand along the polished banister of the stairs and lifted her gaze to the second floor.

The top of the landing was dark, but she guessed that was where his bedroom was. Just being in the same place he slept, the place that was his and felt nothing like the inside of the church, made her feel weak in the knees. As she turned away from the stairs to follow him into the rest of his home, she caught sight of her reflection in the glass of a cabinet sitting in the back of the hall. Seeing herself dressed so provocatively, looking every bit like a whore, made her wrap her arms around her waist. She reached up and took the hoop earrings out of her ears and quickly stashed them away into her purse before pulling the hem of her skirt as low as it would go on her thighs.

“Would you like something to drink?” Kakashi asked, his voice startling her out of her thoughts. She followed him into the rest of his home, a bit surprised that it was so nice. Of course, it belonged to the church and wasn’t technically _his_. It made her apartment look like a cardboard box in comparison.

Staring up at the bookshelves that stretched from floor to ceiling along the entire wall, Sakura nodded. “Sure,” she said quietly, stepping up to look over the titles written across the spines of the books. Most were theological, which didn’t surprise her. But, a few stood out and she tilted her head to the side to read them. Plato, Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, ancient mythology and poetry had Sakura blinking in wonder. She plucked one out into her hands and turned to where Kakashi was moving into his kitchen. “Paradise Lost? I wouldn’t expect a priest to be interested in Satan’s side of things.”

The kitchen light came on and Sakura’s eyebrows lifted, though she wasn’t sure why she was surprised to see an updated kitchen. It matched the style of the rest of his house, with granite counters and matching appliances. As he reached the fridge, he turned to smile at her over his shoulder. “It’s always good to have a fresh perspective on things. What would you like to drink?”

That hot chocolate he mentioned earlier sounded delicious, but she didn’t want to be a bother. Besides, his kitchen was too nice to dirty up just for her. She slid the book back into its place on the shelf and took a step back to look along the rest of the shelves. “Just some water is fine.” Her eyes fell on a section to the left that had three picture frames and she moved toward it.

From the kitchen, Kakashi busied himself with pouring her water and Sakura glanced quickly at him before reaching up to pick up one of the pictures. It was of a man who looked like a younger Kakashi, possibly early 20s or late teens. He was sitting on a tree stump in what looked like a small village, surrounded by dogs of various size with one small one in his lap. The grin on his face made Sakura’s heart skip and she traced a finger across his face, making a streak through the thin layer of dust on the glass.

She turned the frame around as he moved back into the living area. “Is this you?”

“Ah, yes,” he said with a nervous laugh as he handed her a glass of water. “I was on a mission trip when I was nineteen, I think?”

Nineteen-year-old Kakashi would have been murder on Sakura’s ovaries. She looked back down at the picture and bit her lip, wishing more than anything she could have experienced this with him at that age, before he took any vows that prevented them from growing closer. The thought made her let out a wistful sigh and she set the frame back on the shelf. “So, that was like, what? Five years ago?” Her eyebrow lifted as she brought the glass to her lips, taking a small sip.

Again, Kakashi laughed, the sound tickling her insides. “Are you trying to ask me how old I am?”

“Of course not,” she said with a shrug before the corner of her lips lifted in a smirk. “Okay, maybe. You can’t be over thirty.”

The look in his eyes made her eyebrows lift to her hairline. He _was_ older than thirty, judging by the sly smile on his lips and Sakura had to set her water down to cross her arms over her chest. “Thirty-two?”

He answered by pointed a finger toward the ceiling. “Higher.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “I refuse to believe you’re anything older than thirty-five. I mean, there’s no way.” She had to admit, it felt good to just talk to him like this. Even though her body was growing impatient, wanting to screw the small talk and get to the good stuff, their flirting was helping her relax. Prostitutes didn’t waste time with banter. They got in, fucked, and got out. This made Sakura feel less like a hooker and more like his friend. His friend that wanted to fuck him but was trying with great difficulty to respect the boundaries of his vows.

“I’ll be thirty-seven in September.”

Her jaw dropped as she stared up at him. He had nothing to show for his age except for the silvery hair on his head and now that she knew he had it when he was nineteen, it couldn’t be an indication that he was thirty-six-years-old! She hoped she aged half as well as he has, like a god damn fine wine. She couldn’t help letting her eyes travel down the length of his body.

Though she had never seen him outside of his cassock or the button-down shirt and collar he was currently wearing, she had felt the muscles of his arms and chest and could guess that his body matched his face. Moving her gaze back up to his eyes, she counted the difference in their ages. Fourteen years. She didn’t know why, but it sent a shiver down her spine and she licked her lips.

“Does that bother you?” His voice was quiet, and it made her knees tremble.

She didn’t say anything, answering him only with a shake of her head. Moving on their own, her hands pressed against the front of his chest and slid up to his shoulders. No, there was nothing beneath the material of his shirt that hinted at him nearing middle-age in anyway. Sakura’s mouth watered, and she curled her fingers around the hair at the back of his neck as he lowered his head to her.

This kiss was nothing like the one they had shared in the church. The urgency was still there but they took their time, savoring the feel and taste of one another’s mouth. Sakura felt light headed, thankful that he slipped his hands around her waist. She felt his fingers dance up her spine and found the zipper at the back of her neck.

He tilted his head to the side and parted her lips with his so their tongues could meet in the middle. She could taste the desire on his tongue and it consumed her like a fire. A whimper escaped her mouth and Kakashi pulled at the zipper of her dress. The fabric loosened along her chest and she shrugged her shoulders free from it, letting it pool around her waist.

Kakashi spread his fingers across her bare back, bringing her closer to his chest. The buttons of his shirt pressed against her skin and she nervously reached for them, praying that he wouldn’t stop her this time. She freed the one just beneath his collar and then another and another, her fingers shaking as she worked her way down the length of his torso. When her fingers met the waist of his pants, she hesitated and was surprised when Kakashi untucked his shirt so she could finish her task. He stripped it from his body and broke their kiss to shed his undershirt.

Sakura touched her fingers to her damp, swollen lips as she took in the sight of him, eyes falling to his chest. If she didn’t know that he was flesh and blood, she’d think he had been carved out of marble. She didn’t know how he had gotten that body, didn’t really care. She was just grateful that he was allowing her to see it.

In the moment, she hadn’t realized that her own dress was hanging around her waist and her breasts were exposed. She swallowed and watched Kakashi take the material in his hands, lowering it down her hips. He followed it down until he was on his knees in front of her, helping her step out of the dress. The strangeness of being in his house, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and her heels was eclipsed by the way he looked up at her.

His eyes were narrowed in a heady gaze as they fell over her breasts and the curve of her hips and thighs. When his fingers circled around her ankles, pulling at the heel of her shoe, she lifted her foot. It dropped to the rug, soon followed by the next and she shivered, resisting the urge to wrap her arms around herself.

Sakura swallowed and let her head tilt back, trembling beneath the gentle touch of his hand on her ankle. He slowly traced the curve of her calf and the dip behind her knee, burning a trail up to her thighs. She reached back and put her hands down on the shelf just beneath her ass, gripping it with shaking fingers. Her back arched as his lips touched the flesh of her thigh and his hands continued their journey up to her hips.

She felt his fingers curl around the edge of her panties, lips parting in a quiet whimper as the fabric slipped down the curve of her hips. Kakashi pulled it down the length of her legs until they met the floor and she was completely exposed before him. For several moments, he sat on his knees, studying every bit of her nakedness that he could.

Sakura looked down at him, her mouth opening though no words would come. Between her legs, she was dripping wet and could feel it starting to trickle down the side of her thigh. When his eyes lifted to meet hers, she had to bite down on her lower lip. Her breath was ragged in mere anticipation of what was to come. She didn’t know if she would be able to make it through much more.

“Do you remember when you called me,” he murmured, circling one hand around the outside of her thigh while the other moved to the inside. “And you told me you thought about my lips being right _here_.” As his finger found the heat of her sex, her mouth dropped in a wordless cry. He pushed between her folds and slowly traced the slit back and forth. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what you could possibly feel and taste like.”

Her entire body shuddered, and she clamped her teeth around her bottom lip, focusing on the pain instead of how fucking good it felt to have him touch her and talk to her like that. When Kakashi lifted her leg, parting her thighs, she bit down hard enough to taste blood. She was faintly aware that his eyes were on her face, watching her reaction to what he was doing and saying, but she didn’t dare open her eyes.

Kakashi pushed a finger inside her and she let her head fall back against one of the shelves, knocking a frame to the side. She felt him slide forward on his knees and drape her leg over his shoulder. He pulled his finger out before slowly pushing inside her again. His breath was warm against her and she swallowed tightly, afraid she’d die from a lack of oxygen. But, she couldn’t breathe in that moment, couldn’t move or speak. Her heart beat so hard against her chest she was sure he could hear it.

He pressed a soft kiss, right at the top of her slit and Sakura’s eyes snapped open. Seeing him look up at her as a slow, wicked smile spread across his lips was almost enough to make her come right then. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Kakashi held onto her thigh with one hand as the other still pumped in and out of her.

She was only vaguely aware that this was only the second time he had ever done this and either he was a natural or had been doing a bit of research. The corner of her lips curled, but it quickly faded into a gasp as he dipped his tongue between her folds. He flicked it over her clit and she felt her entire body shudder, her back arching off the bookshelves behind her. Somehow, she managed to move her hand to his hair and tangled her fingers within it.

There was no way she’d ever last long like this. Just the visual of him on his knees, pleasuring her with both his tongue and fingers was enough to give her an intense orgasm. But this…this was on a whole other level.

Kakashi’s tongue curled into her again and though she could tell he was a bit nervous, it still felt so _fucking_ good. She nodded, letting her eyes flutter close. “ _Yes_ ,” she breathed. “Just like that—” her words shifted into a moan as he repeated the move, pumping his finger faster.

He lapped at her clit and every eager groan from the back of his throat vibrated against her. She was a breathless, whimpering mess. Her legs trembled, and he took notice. The one hand he had still wrapped around her leg fell away from her, as did the one inside her. Sakura cried out in protest but had little time to be upset about it. He lifted her other leg and slipped it over his shoulder, never pulling his tongue away from her pussy.

She gripped the shelf beneath her ass and pushed her hips against his face, unable to stop herself from grinding into his tongue. He held onto her with a bruising grip and she knew that come morning, she’d be able to see the evidence of his fingers on her side. It brought a smile to her lips and she let her head fall back against the row of books behind it.

Kakashi moaned against her, dragging his tongue back and forth over the sensitive bud between her folds. She felt him look up at her and she smiled in approval. “ _Fuck_ , it feels _so_ good.” She brushed his hair away from his face, letting her fingers tangle in the strands. “Please, don’t stop.”

Sakura was close to coming undone altogether. It had been building inside her from the moment he had kissed her in the church. The heat spiraled through her center, spreading across her lower belly and over her nerves. Her legs trembled atop his shoulders, breath growing erratic.

He kept his pace steady and tongue firm, swapping the back and forth motion for swirls that had Sakura sucking in quick breaths. Her fingers tightened in his hair and the growl he gave from the bit of pain vibrated his lips around her. “ _Oh, fuck,_ ” she whispered, her entire body quivering. “I’m coming!”

The intensity of her orgasm rocked through her so suddenly, she reached beneath her to grip the shelf and managed to send a few books to the floor. She let out a breathless sob, completely consumed from the pleasure. It rolled through her in waves, each one starting where Kakashi’s tongue still lapped at her clit and spreading across her body.

“ _Fuck, Kakashi!_ ” She wriggled away from him, unable to take much more. He pulled back and stared up at her with wide eyes and a half smile. She squeezed her eyes shut and breathed through the last tremors of her orgasm, her own lips twisting into a smile. After she had managed to gather her composure, she peeked down at him through the curtain of her hair. The look of pride behind his smile made her giggle. “Have you been studying?”

He lowered her feet to the floor and wiped her juices from his chin with the palm of his hand before turning to look up at her. “Why? Did you enjoy it?”

As he stood to his full height, Sakura scowled playfully up at him. “Did it sound like I enjoyed it?” She took her bottom lip between her teeth and pulled him close to her, hooking an arm around his neck. He nodded and ducked his head between her neck and shoulder, pressing a kiss to the bit of skin just below her ear. It sent shivers down her spine and she parted her legs to pull him closer.

“I know I should stop myself,” he whispered, making her eyes flutter closed. “But, I want more.”

Oh, God, why did he have to say things like that? It was bad enough that saying those things to her would only bring him trouble, but to hear him whisper them after making her come? That was just cruel. She squeezed her eyes shut, glad that he couldn’t see the torment on her face. “I feel selfish, getting so much while you get so little.” Sakura nudged his shoulder and took her face in his hands as he leaned back. “I just don’t want you to regret anything that happens between us.”

He nodded, but Sakura could see the tightness in his jaw and feel how hard he was between her legs. She felt cruel to deny him, especially after he had given her an orgasm that she didn’t think she’d ever forget. But, if she let him fuck her now and he woke up tomorrow with nothing but regret…she’d never forgive herself.

Ducking her head, she caught his stare and smiled at him. “But, you can jerk off on me, if you want to. I promise to keep my hands to myself.” The look of desire that passed over his face, completely erasing any disappointment that had been there previously, made Sakura throw her head back with a laugh.

Kakashi lifted her from her perch on his bookshelves and hooked his arm beneath her knees. She only just managed to grab hold of his shoulders with a shriek of delight as he turned them toward the hallway. He carried her up the stairs and though she was thrilled to see the inside of his bedroom, Sakura knew that it was only temporary joy. Their regret would be at the door, waiting patiently or them in the morning.

* * *

 

AN- yeah this was just gratuitous smut. But, oh, it was so fun writing it. Hope you've enjoyed these two chapters!!  


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